Turkey Day '05

So Thanksgiving weekend has come and gone. I had the Wednesday before off and we were all going to go out but I decided to stay at home and rest and try to kick this stupid effing cold that I have that will NOT go away. (Clearly, the day of rest did the cold no good at all.) But it was nice to have a day off in the middle of the week. I caught up on my Nip\Tuck (holy *crap* I can't believe Kimber left Christian at the altar!) and helped my mom bake some stuf for the celebration the next day. It's amazing that our pumpkin chiffon pie didn't turn out like poo because I misread that recipe in every way possible. Somehow, it all turned out OK though. (Actually, it was better than OK, it was down right yummy.) Then I decided to make pumpkin bread with the leftover canned pumpkin and that came out INCREDIBLE! I pulled the recipe out of my fave cookbook (How to Cook Everything by Mark Bittman), which I recommend to everyone because it has never let me down. The recipes are easy, fun, and they all taste great. But I digress.

So on Thursday Shaun came over around 12:30 to watch the Lions play football. He said he at least had to watch, "until it's hopeless." It got hopeless pretty quick. I wonder what it'd be like to have a good football team to root for? Hmmmm. So we ate appetizers and drank some wine over here before heading out to the boonies to go have dinner with Shaun's fam. I love love love his family. We ate an amazing dinner and had some great desserts and Shaun took a little nap in front of the fireplace before we headed back to my house. Since Nik was in town we were all going to go out, but Shaun and I were so sleepy and full that we ended up leaving Nik and Gianny on their own and just cuddled up on the couch to watch "National Treasure." Which was pretty good. Ridiculously far-fetched, but entertaining nevertheless.

On Saturday I did a bunch of stuff. I had the day off but I went to go tutor my mom's boss's daughter (get that?) at 1:00. She needed some serious help with her Spanish. Yet another moment of truth that lets me know I am scarily out of practice!! I really need to look into a class at OCC or something, because it's getting bad. But after that I went to the Gap (to shop, not to work) and spent an obscene amount of money on my neice and nephew. They are gonna look sooooo cute though! Then it was home to get ready, then Shaun and I went to dinner at this Thai place in Birmingham that had the worst service I've had at a restaurant in a long, long time, and then we all met up at the Blarney before heading to the bars in Novi. Michigan is so strange. Shaun said later in the evening that we drove all the way to Novi to go to Royal Oak. Which couldn't be more true. They have all the same bars in every city, Ann Arbor, Royal Oak, Rochester, Novi. Never spent much time in East Lansing but I betcha those are the same too. And even if it isn't exactly the same name, it still feels the same once you walk inside. Nikki and I don't really notice so much, because when we go out to dance we are just about shakin' our booties and having a good time, but when there are fights breaking out on the dance floor it's just no good. I miss my favorite one-of-a-kind bar in Ann Arbor: Mitch's. I don't even know if it's still there. :( Good times were always had in that bar, that is for sure. But anyway.

It was good to see Linda. Crazily enough she was with Marc Henderson (younger bro of Matt, the Marine, whose family and mine have been friends since forever). The hilarious part was that he didn't even recognize me! I guess he is a friend of Linda's boyfriend, and as introductions were being made I was like, "Marc?!" He looked at me with complete confusion. Didn't have the foggiest. It's OK though, I guess all those hours of playing capture the flag and hide-and-go-seek out in the woods with his older brother and my younger brother when we were 7, 8, 9, 10, years old were pretty forgettable.

The weekend ended with me working all freaking day on Sunday. Gap was from 12-5 and then to Comcast from 7-11. What did I do with my 2 hour break you ask? Well, Shaun said, "Come over, I'll make you dinner." So over to his place I went. Wow do I love that man. He had *homemade* pizza and cheesey breadsticks ready (straight outta the oven actually) for me when I walked in the door. And it was so so so good! All in all, not a bad Thanksgiving weekend. I can't wait til everyone is home over Christmas. :)

*Wishlist*

Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas I want a lot of stuff. Most of is totally unreasonable (like the $1000 camera, I pretty much know I'm not getting that one!), but some of it is rather do-able. So here goes nothin'.


1. Books, of any kind, from any bookstore, but especially big books with lots of beautiful pictures in them. Like Gordon Parks' photos, or Mary Cassat's paintings. Or you could just get me a Borders gift card.


2. Music, but particularly three CDs. Kanye West's new one, Mariah's absurdly titled "The Emancipation of Mimi" and Madonna's AMAZING "Confessions on a Dance Floor." I mean for the love, look at the freaking woman. She's 40+ years old and looks better than most 20 year olds. Granted, she can afford a personal trainer and a personal chef and Botox and plastic surgery -- none of which I think I would EVER want. Except maybe the personal chef. That'd be pretty sweet. But I digress. Back to the task at hand.

3. An iPOD. *sigh* Sad, but true. I want one. But I think I want the black one. The 30 GB one. Which is more space than I might ever use, but it's better to have and not need than to need and not have. (Please, no mention of how I do not 'need' an iPOD, how I simply want one, and how there are really only a few basic human needs -- like food, water, clothing, shelter, love, and - as some would argue - cable. Christmas is not about need, it is about want, and so I do.)


4. This ridiculous, extravagent, amazingly cool digital SLR Canon camera. I'll let the picture do the talking...... OK, I was going to let the picture do all the talking, but then I realized that it's a picture. It can't talk. Oh man. If only I had an extra $1000 laying around, unused, undesignated. It would be mine. I love SLR's, and since digital is the way of the future, it seems only logical to invest in a nice digital SLR. It's an investment, like a diamond, or a college education. (Shaun, I can see the look on your face! Hahaha...!) Maybe someday if I hit the Keno jackpot up at the Blarney. But til then, it's on to the next item. Which, incidentally, is much more affordable and realistic.



5. Clinique! I've been out of my Happy for a while now, and I just don't want to spend the money on myself at this particular time. I'd be open to a new scent, since I've worn Happy for so very long, but I know I love this one, so that makes it a safe bet. If you really want to make me smile you'll get the lotion and body wash too! Yay! Merry Clinique.


And last but not least, 6. Jewelry. I love big, dangly earrings (like from Urban Outfitters or Claire's or Banana Republic), as long as they aren't too heavy. (They're also usually quite cheap!) I also own no (yellow) gold, real or otherwise, so it's best to stick to silver. Please avoid rainbow themed baubles, as I am neither 3 years old nor same-gender oriented. I am in absolute love with this necklace from Tiffany's (partly because it is just cool, and partly because it doesn't say "T&Co." all over it -- why do they have to do that to all their silver jewelry, I hate it!) But alas, it is not so cheap as one might hope.


So, Santa, there you have it. My Christmas 2005 Wishlist. I think I've been a pretty good girl, whaddya say??

Also, if you are reading this and your name is Stephanie, Rebeca, Aubrey, Jetta, Alyssa, Amy, Thomas, Starla, Sean or Sarah, Anders, or Neil, you would do well to email me your newest addresses, since my address book has managed to get itself lost. (The nerve I tell you.) I would like to send Christmas cards and/or gifts and/or coupons to save mucho dinero at the Gap the 1st weekend in December.

I am so effing happy it's snowing words cannot express. Yay!

Who Needs AAA?

I've got my dad. I mean seriously, look at this face. Tell me this is not the face of a man who can just look menacingly at a car and will it to start. Or else. It's almost as if he uses The Force. I cannot count how many times I have called my dad at some obscene time of the night (or early morning), usually when it is butt ass cold outside, and uttered the words, "Daddy, my car won't start." My senior year of college my car at the time (a Mercury Tracer) decided to die when Lys and I went to the Wings game. In February. Of course it was negative a million degrees out and when Dad said, "Where are you?" I was dreading having to say, "The Cobo roof." Eeek. Even though two perfectly nice fellow Wings fans had unsuccessfully tried to jump start the car for almost 30 minutes, Dad had no problems whatsoever. He connected the cables, started his truck, and *poof* my car started. It's like the cars fear him. They sure don't fear AAA.

I've known people who have AAA and I've heard horror stories about having to wait two hours for roadside assistance. Two hours? Pshaw! Try 28 minutes. That's how long it took my dad to get to me tonight, even with a head cold. (Although, I did make him pancakes last week when he was home sick with an earlier and much worse phase of the cold. And I always get him good Christmas presents, if I do say so myself.) Plus he has all those memories of me when I was a cute little kid, all giggles and dolls and pink dresses, and no dad could ever let his daughter, who was once his little girl, fend for herself when her car won't start. I mean, what kind of a dad would do that? Plus, he knows he has The Force on his side, which ordinary humans simply do not have. And he also has boots like this:

Which I highly suspect of some seriously major supernatural power only possessed by fathers who would do anything for their families.

Thanks to Mike who let me sit in his car to stay warm while waiting for my dad (man, I would have frozen my butt off if not for that!). And thank you Daddy, for saving me yet again.

The Mysterious Case of the Pink Gorilla

So, I have been The Girl in The Relationship with The Boy when everything is fine and dandy and then BAM! One day the Pink Gorilla walks in, uninvited, to a party you are hosting and you both pretend not to notice because gorillas aren't pink, they are black, and who knows if maybe you are cracking up or going bananas or what!? So you both go on, and the Pink Gorilla moves in and starts sleeping nights on your couch. He eats dinner with you and noone talks to or about him. He smirks under all that fuschia fur, and he waits. Then one day, when one of you has reached The Breaking Point, dinner forks are dropped with vigor or dresser drawers are slammed shut and you finally yell, "What the hell is up with the fricking Pink Gorilla??!!" Then one of you is packing up boxes and putting them into a car and moving back in with your parents/best friend/sister or brother. And the other is left sitting with your head in your hands while the Pink Gorilla snickers mercilessly before shuffling off to his next pair of victims.

The other day Shaun and I were curled up on the couch watching The Food Network, when his apartment door opened and lo and behold, the Pink Gorilla stuck his head in. Shaun and I looked at each other; I just laughed and laughed, and Shaun said, "Holy shit! Did you see that big ass pink gorilla?!" We gave him a banana and sent him on his way. Then we went back to watching Iron Chef America. Crazy how I love this man.

Inexplicable

There are some things I will always know. Things I can see with my eyes closed, in the dark, at 2 a.m., on a mountain, in the Andes. Things like my mother's laugh, the way my dad's hand moves as it brushes crumbs out of his beard, my brother's upper lip and the way it curls when he's telling a lie. And then there are the things I will never know. How did Shakespeare manage to cram all that meaning into iambic pentameter? Why Nick had to die like that. And how to explain something you are feeling so deeply you feel it should require no explanation, to a person who just simply doesn't know, and might not ever understand. How to explain that it does not mean that they are doing something wrong for not knowing, and that I am not doing something wrong by failing to come up with the right words. How to explain that I feel my heart tense and drop a little bit every time the subject is brought up -- or shot down. How to explain that I'm sorry, even though I probably have nothing to be sorry for.

It'll All Be O(401)K

So recently I opened a 401k to prepare for my retirement. Ha! That cracks me up. Here I am living at home still, but I am contemplating my retirement from the working world. Sitting at my desk at work, looking over all the different funds and stocks and bonds and whatevers that I could invest in, I thought, "Wow, maybe I should have taken a business class or two when I was in college." Might've helped me out a bit more than Victorian Lit has. (Although honestly, if anyone ever doubts the superiority of Jane Austen's work I could argue them into a corner in no time!) Tonight I had Shaun look over my choices for me, since he knows a bit more about this stuff than I do, and I suppose I made pretty OK choices. It's strange how it feels good to be responsible. These days you gotta think about the future. I know that when I have kids, the day that I find out there's a bun in the oven I am going to the bank to open up a savings account. No $60,000 of debt straight outta college for my kids! And hey, if they decide not to go (or better yet, get scholarships cuz they'll be geniuses and sports prodigies, wink wink) then I can buy that summer home on Lake Michigan I've always hoped I might someday be able to afford. :)

1 Through 13

Verbatim

So recently I made the greatest mix for the drives to and from my various jobs. I have been jammin' in my seat ever since I made it the other day. A tracklisting for the curious:

1. Bohemian Like You -- The Dandy Warhols
2. Suavemente -- Elvis Crespo
3. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger -- Daft Punk (c'mon 1201 ladies!!)
4. Joints & Jam -- Black Eyed Peas, before they sold out
5. Lust For Life -- Iggy Pop
6. Kiss -- Prince
7. Addicted to Love -- Robert Palmer (you may call it lame, but I still looove the rockin' gals all vamped up in black and those red red lips, playing some phony ass instruments!)
8. I Need More Love -- Robert Randolph and the Family Band
9. The Seed 2.0 -- The Roots f/ Cody ChestnuTT
10. The Denial Twist -- The White Stripes
11. Mysterious Ways -- U2
12. Let Love Rule -- Lenny Kravitz
13. Could You Be Loved? -- Bob Marley and The Whalers

Seriously, you should download some or all of this immediately. Or let me know if you want a copy and I will burn one and drop in the mail for you.

I am getting pretty excited for Turkey Day. Should be goooood this year, I foresee lots and lots of yummy yummy food in my near future. I better start working out now!! Hahahaha....

Oh, and a shout out to my gal Aubrey, who now finds herself gainfully employed in the Windy City! You go with your bad self.

Soak

So tonight I got out of work a little earlier than usual (11:00 instead of the standard 12:30) and I came home and promptly ran myself a hot bubblebath. I opened up a new book, The Time Traveler's Wife, and started to read and before I knew it the clock said 1:52 AM and I was on page 110. The bathwater was significantly cooler and my toes were wrinkled beyond all recognition. Man did I need a good soak.

I was looking in the mirror in the bathroom after I let the water drain from the tub and my cheeks were so rosy. My mom always comments on that, about how my cheeks would always redden up after having a bath as a little girl. I've got pictures, which my modesty will not allow me to publish here, of myself in the tub at various ages during my youth and it's true, the rosiest of cheeks indeed. It's odd how I can remember things from being a kid, but I will never be able to know myself as a 7 year old. All I have are splotchy memories pieced together from the depths of my brain and stories told to me by others -- and photos of course.

In the book that I am reading a woman named Clare is married to a man named Henry who happens to be a time traveler. He has no control over his travels and just sort of ends up places. They meet for the first time twice -- once when she is six and he shows up as a 36 year old man in her backyard, and once when she is 20 and he is 28 and in his present working as a librarian. So far my favorite thing about the story is that he gets to know her, to see her, as a child. To see her as a curious six year old practicing her penmanship, as a determined 12 year old learning to play chess, as a 16 year old learning about men. It's something I've wondered about every person I love now that I never knew as a kid -- What were you like? Certain details you could get from mere observation that might otherwise escape you for your entire life with a person. Or things that are so a part of who you are that they were there, in your character, when you were seven, just as much as they are now, when you are 28. Things like my rosy cheeks. And my love of baths. And books.

Some Reasons Why...

I love Ewan McGregor.

1. Trainspotting, the best of the drug movies. It's like you know exactly what it would be like to have to kick a heroin habit, which makes you damn sure you never want to start one -- just in case you ever had any thoughts about giving it a try.

2. His to die for Scottish accent. Yes it's pathetic and classically American to be turned on by it, but I love it nevertheless.

3. He sings in movies but hasn't released a single or made an album or pretended to be a rock star like Jared Leto, Keanu Reeves, or Russell Crowe.

4. That series on Bravo, Long Way Round, where he and a buddy drove their fricking motorcycles across Europe through Asia over to Alaska (via plane) down through Canada across the U.S. and into New York City. Go here to learn more about it, or to get good gift ideas for yours truly.

5. He got to be Obi Wan Kenobe.

There are more, of course, but these will suffice for now....

P.S. If any of the ladies are hankering for a girls night, I think next weekend would be a most opportune time.

The Not-So-Terrible Twos

Hannah's 2nd Birthday!

A Great Weekend

Well I have to say that if I had to pick a way to spend my weekend after working a 60+ hour week that I would spend it exactly as I did this last one. On Saturday night after a little 6 hour shift at the Gap Shaun and I went to go see Altar Boyz at the City Theater downtown. (It's inside the Hockeytown Cafe, very small.) Dr. Berman gave the tix to my mom and she gave them to Shaun and I and we had so much fun! The show is somewhat of a spoof of boy bands and Catholicism, but ultimately it had really good messages about friendship, perseverence, faith, and so on. The five guys in the group are Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan, and Abraham. My favorite little diddy from the show was no doubt the love ballad entitled, "Girl, You Make Me Wanna Wait." It's playing til December and tickets start at about $25, if you need something funny to do some night you should go, very worth it!

There were a couple of odd things that happened at the show though. While we were reading the program before everything started an older couple came and sat down in front of us. The man was probably in his late 50s and he was going bald -- which made it very easy to see that he had a bunch of drywall nails sticking out of his head. At first we just saw the two that were on the crown of his head, and then when he turned we noticed two more up in the front! It was SO STRANGE! To me they did not look like they were in his actual scalp, but Shaun says they were. I just kinda figured that he was putzing around in the garage waiting for his wife to get ready and accidentally bumped a shelf and some drywall nails fell into his hair.... Except they were pretty put in their place, not going anywhere if you know what I mean. So who knows, maybe he was using them to keep his hair piece in place. The other weird thing was a woman behind me who kept belching -- and I mean belching. At one point I started leaning forward in my chair because I was afraid she was about to earl all over the back of my head!! Nasty!!!

After the show on Saturday we had a drink at Hockeytown, and then went back to Shaun's place where we watched "Fever Pitch" with Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon. What a cute movie! I actually cried too, which Shaun teased me for (pretty ridiculous I'll admit), and then we went to bed.

On Sunday I woke up with no clue of what was in store for me for the entire day. I thought it was going to be a lazy Sunday, but Shaun had other plans! First he took to me lunch at this AMAZING restaurant in Rochester called Kruse and Muer (you should go!) where we ate like kings. Then we walked around downtown Rochester for a little while and window shopped for art neither of us can afford! Then we went to visit his mom for a little while and looked at some pictures from Chad and Kristina's engagement dinner. After that Shaun took me to Yates Cider Mill in Rochester (I think) where he got a fresh donut and I got a caramel apple (yum!) and we shared some cider. The cider mill is really nice but it was *so* busy yesterday! I think I will have to take him to the Franklin Cider Mill next weekend. Then we went home, I took a nap because I was pooped, and Shaun watched the end of the longest playoff game in Major League baseball history (18 freaking innings!). When I woke up it was off to Birmingham to go see the movie "Waiting" with Ryan Reynolds (a.k.a. Van Wilder). And we finished the night off at The Blarney Stone, where we are quickly becoming regulars.

All in all, a great day -- but next time we go somewhere in public that has seating we are waiting for everyone else to sit down first. Then we'll pick our seats. At the movie we sat down in an empty area, only to have a couple with an infant in a stroller sit down in front of us -- at an R rated movie, at 9:30 at night. When Shaun and I very clearly had looks of, "Oh great, a crying baby, just what we wanted to sit through!" the dad turned and smiled and said, "Don't worry, he doesn't wake up." Oh yeah? Wanna bet?? When that surround sound hits those speakers, that baby is gonna be wailing. I should have bet him, cuz I'd have won. Then a group of teenage boys sat down behind us who repeated every punchline of every joke in the movie, and walked all over the back of my chair with their boots. Awesome!

On the way home I just couldn't help thinking how lucky I am. Thanks to my baby for taking me out and showing me such a great time on my day off after a loooong week. I love you!!

Order Porn and Be Proud

Yep, you heard me. Every once in a while a little bit o porn might do a person good. Let me explain.... Some of my favorite -- yet truly obnoxious -- customers at Comcast are the ones who order assloads of porno through pay-per-view and then get their absurd cable bills in the mail and call us up to deny it. The excuses we get are classic.

Completely ridiculous: "Well my 2 year old was playing with the remote and he must have accidentally ordered the movies."

Oh really? All 6 of them? Do you have any idea the number of steps involved in ordering a porn through your cable box? You have to go to the channel, use the arrow buttons on your remote to select the option to buy, press OK to confirm the buy -- 6 times, with no accidental purchases of The Spongebob Squarepants movie. Your toddler is one dextrous and horny little dude!!

Even more absurd: "Well I know that neither my husband nor my father in law who lives with me nor my teenage son would ever look at anything like that, we're Christians you know!"

Yeah, and Christians gotta get some too. It's always the Christians that like that freaky shit. You better tend to your husband, or he's gonna tend to himself. Or worse -- get someone from his bible study class to take care of his needs. As for horny father in law and teenager, it's called parental controls. Put a pin number on there. Say it with me now, pa-rent-al con-trols!

The all-time stupidest excuse I've ever heard: "All these movies are ordered in the middle of the night, when my boyfriend and I are asleep. I think the maintenance man from my apartment complex must be breaking into my apartment and ordering them at night. What do you expect me to do about that, it's not my fault!!"

Well first of all, you should probably call the police, cuz if the maintenance dude has broken into your crib 15 of the last 27 nights, you have a real problem on your hands. Secondly, you should probably move, cuz any apartment complex that employs a man both desperate enough and horny enough to risk his job, his freedom, and potentially his life just so he can jack off on your couch to some crappy porn, is probably not a place you want to live. Which brings me to number three, buy a new couch, cuz the current one's got some new mileage on it that you didn't put there. And finally, and most importantly, four: quit taking the sleeping pills so that when your man wakes up in the middle of the night looking for some love, he can just roll over in the comfort of his bed, instead of having to get up and go to some couch and hang out with Rightina, wishing his girlfriend wasn't semi-comatose.

I once had a customer who averaged $500 a MONTH in adult PPV charges. Dude, go to the store and BUY THE VIDEOS! Quit wasting all your damn money! Another time I had a gentleman ask me just how hardcore, on a scale of one to ten, was the programming on the Spice channel. Some people are adult about it, but most people are just rying to deny it to get out of having to pay for it. So to them I dedicate this entry and I say: If you're gonna order porn, then order porn and be proud. I don't care what you and Miss Michigan are doing in the middle of the night -- or day! Just quit being a whiny baby about having to pay for it. At the end of the day it's cheaper than having a girlfriend anyway, so shut the hell up.

I ♥ Jack White

Nikki, my road dawg, I love you so much for taking me to see The White Stripes for my birthday!!! On Friday night Nik and I went down to the Masonic Temple Theater where we were forced to pay $20 to park my car. I mean come on. $20?! I think I may need to get into the parking lot game downtown, make my millions taking advantage of the white folks from the burbs that are afraid to park their cars on the wild streets of the Dirty Dirty D. Anyway, moving on. We got there at about 8:30 and at 8:40 Jack and Meg took the stage. The show was over by 10:15, but it was incredible!! Jack played so many instruments, all his guitars, a mandolin, a xylophone, the piano -- and of course he sang. The next time they come to town I will definitely have some front row (or near front row) seats! I bought a tee shirt and Nik got some crazy holographic postcards that were pretty sweet. They had a poster but it was sold out by the time we got up to the window. I think they do a similar kind of thing as Pearl Jam and make a unique, individual poster for every show they do. It woulda been cool to get one, but there's always next time!

Jack ripped it up and played two of my all time fave Stripes songs, Ball and a Biscuit and Red Rain, both bluesier songs that he jammed out on. Matty Matt and I always go back and forth about the Stripes because he claims to just not get the music. (Right Matt?!) But I say what's not to get? It just plain rocks! (Oh and Meg was awesome too, although she is so skinny she looks like she's 12.)

After the concert Nik and I went down to the Anchor Bar for the second night in a row and met up with Elin and a couple of her boy toys. Then Shaun and his cousins came down and eventually Gianny made it there too. Everyone else peaced out around 1:30 but Shaun and his cousins took me with them to the MGM Casino where I proceeded to win everybody a lot of money at the craps table on my inaugural roll, and then lose everybody a lot of money on my follow up. But I came out $12 on top, so Shaun and I got some White Castle on the way home. All in all, it was a great night. I love Jack White, but I love Shaun more. (Wink!) My baby....

Headbanger's Ball

So. After only a mere three years of patient waiting since OzzFest 2002, Nikki and I finally got to see System of a Down in concert tonight. Holy crap, it was awesome!! First of all, I love it when mohawked, tattooed, pierced, heavy metal rocker dudes say to us, "You girls better be careful, cuz this shit is about to be crazy, I wouldn't want you to get hurt." And we say, Um yeah, have you met us? We're Nikki and Maria, we paid the same $50 you did to be here, so f*ck off. Don't let us knock you out when we're moshing. Oh, and you can remove your hand from my ass now. Thanks. And then we headbang and all the boys say, "Damn, we wish you were our girlfriends." Sorry boys! Better luck next time. Hahahaha, I gotta say though, a couple times I was thinking, Man, Shaun would probably be afraid of me if he could see me right now. My baby. I was safe boo, I promise!! The bruises will fade in a few days... I hope. Otherwise people will think I got caned.

We ran into Katie D (as in Kira's little sis) and her boyfriend Justin and some of their friends, who we hung out with for a little bit. Oddly we did not see any of the people we planned to meet up with at the show. No Adam, no Elin, no Nate. Oh well! The opening bands were Hella (worst name for a band in the history of the universe, but appropriate for them since they hella sucked a whole hella lot), and The Mars Volta, who were *amazing*. I just bought their CD Frances the Mute last week and although it is a hard CD to listen to (because each song is like 7+ minutes long, with these bizzare intros and outros) the band was incredible live. They're from Mexico so they added bongos and horns and a DJ to the traditional guitar-bass-drums-lead singer equation. Very, very good. All in all, quite a fantasitc show. Even when my bra broke and I said, Screw it! and just threw it up in the air, it was OK, cuz I needed a new bra anyway and that one was Crap. (With a capital 'C'.)

We got The White Stripes tomorrow night at the Masonic Temple, which will be waaayyyy more chill. (And honestly, thank God, cuz my arms are seriously going to be bruised for like a week.)

Hey man, look at me rocking out, I'm on the radio.....!

Republicans for Voldemort

How funny is that for a bumper sticker? (For those who are saying, "Huh?" Voldemort is the über bad guy from the Harry Potter books. Basically, he's about as evil as Satan.) I saw that on my drive home from Shaun's place this morning. There I was in my car, minding my own business, headbanging to System of a Down bright and early at 8:30 am when BAM! The funniest bumper sticker I've seen in a while just makes the day that much better. I love it.

If you are sitting there reading this saying, "Jeez, Harry Potter is so lame," be advised: I will convert you! My mom was a doubter only a few short months ago. But she sat down to start the first book and she can now say that she has read all six. She's going through Harry Potter withdrawal. It's a serious affliction.

In other news: Nik is home today for System of a Down tomorrow night (!) and then The White Stripes on Friday. How badass is that gonna be??

Time to go back to sleep now.

Little Hellraisers

So lately A. and I (see her link to the right) have traded some thoughts on bad parenting, and crappy children, and when these two things merge with normal, logical people in public places, and how the result is often disgusting, disheartening, and excellent anti-kid advertising. This reminded me of a story I sometimes tell about a time when I was exposed to a particularly vicious little brat once upon a time ago in Borders in Ann Arbor.

First, some background. I love Harry Potter. I own all the books and have read them all multiple times. Months prior to the release of the 5th one (which came out in the summer of 2003) I visited my local Borders store and pre-ordered the book so that I'd be sure to have my shiny new copy as soon as it hit the shelves. So the much anticipated day came and I went to Borders and went to the check in table where they crossed my name off a list and gave me a number written on a small piece of paper, then directed me to another area where all of the books were behind a gimungous table which was being guarded by two employees of Borders. I traded my precious number for a copy and was holding the book, reading the inside cover, when a father approached with his 10 year old son. This is what he said:

Father: Hi. I didn't pre-order the book, I had no idea this was this big a deal, but I promised my son I'd get it for him today, we've already been to three other bookstores and nobody has it, is there any way you can give me one of these copies. (Of which there were literally stacks upon stacks, I mean probably at least 500 copies, if not more.)

So, as the Borders employee is telling the guy, "No," I was doing two things. 1: Wondering how anyone on Earth could not realize how popular these books are, especially if their kid is a fan. And, 2: Contemplating handing my copy to the kid, since he was just a kid and his dad was obviously trying, and he looked so bummed and brokenhearted and I could've brought the biggest smile to his face and saved his dad's butt. At that point the dad turned to the kid and said, "I'm sorry little buddy, we're just going to have to wait a couple days, noone has a copy for us."

Cue the biggest temper tantrum I have ever seen. Little man went crazy on his dad. First he was crying hysterically, then he was screaming and yelling, and then he started hitting and kicking his dad in the store!! I could not believe it. At that moment all my thoughts of handing my copy over to the little tyke evaporated and were replaced by thoughts for some serious, serious discipline. Followed by thoughts of how if I had ever behaved that way in public my ass -- as the saying so colorfully goes -- would have been grass. Followed by thoughts like, "Wow, how could this dad have driven to four freaking bookstores for this little shit?" and, "Jeez, what happens when he doesn't get exactly what he wants for his birthday?" and, "Boy am I glad I'm not his mama!"

Things like this make me wonder what in the sam hell parents are doing to discipline their kids these days. Personally, I got spanked. My mom also used the rinsing-your-mouth-out-with-soap punishment, which my kid brother suffered multiple times, whereas I cleverly avoided it. I don't see anything wrong with a swift little spank to the ass every once in a while. It was the proper combination of fear, pain, and shame to keep me in line most of the time. Although I suppose my mom will have to weigh in on that one. Maybe parents are just too tired to parent at the end of the day now. They have TV and video games and computers and the Internet to babysit their kids for them, so they don't put forth nearly enough effort or make nearly enough time. Pretty sad. But helpful for those of us that endeavor to be better parents than that, when we eventually do become parents some day -- in the very, very distant future!

Everything is Better in *My* Car

So yesterday it stormed. It rained, and it thundered, and there was lightning and even a flash flood or two. Normally I like a good storm -- but not when I have to be at work, at the cable company, on the night that ER and Smallville are set to premiere. Let me just say that I had NO IDEA there were so many people in Flint who just could not live without their ER. I had people cussing me out. About freaking ER! It's not even that good anymore!! I had a conversation with one woman that went like this:

Woman: My kids have been waiting all summer to watch the season premiere of Smallville, why isn't the WB working?

My thoughts: Well, I dunno, could it be something to do with THE GIGANTIC, EARTH SHATTERINGLY LOUD SYSTEM OF THUNDERSTORMS THAT HAS BEEN POUNDING DOWN ON US FOR ABOUT 3 HOURS NOW??!!

What I actually said: I do apologize, but right now because of the storm both WB and NBC are out indefinitely. These issues are both being worked on by NBC and WB, as they are provider issues, and regretfully there is nothing Comacst can do at this time.

Woman: Well can you force the WB to re-air the season premiere of Smallville???

My thoughts: What do I look like, friggin' Superman over here?? Seriously, you actually expect the WB to re-air a season premiere of one of it's most popular shows because you and your three kids missed it because of a storm? [expletive deleted] Yeah, lemme get right on that for you.

What I actually said: No. But you can contact the WB network if you'd like to voice your complaint. I'd be happy to give you their contact information!

Lately at work we've all been sharing the Oh-God-I-want-to-stab-myself-in-the-eyeball-with-my-pen look. Recently Comcast threw a job fair and OVER A THOUSAND people showed up!! I almost wished I'd been there, because I would have been slipping people notes telling them to seek employment elsewhere; but I wasn't there because I had the day off, and I'd rather have a day off from that place than save others from getting in over their heads. I'm sick of them forcing me to work mandatory overtime, I'm sick of working til 12:30 at night, and mostly I am just sick of people being rude jackasses to me on the phone when all I am trying to do is help them and keep some health insurance.

Talking to Shaun the other day I realized that I really need to get on my grad school apps if I'm serious about it. I need to sign up for the GRE and the LSAT, and actually study for them instead of just buying the prep books and stacking them up in my room so that I have something to set my Vogue and Cosmo on every month. He asked me, "So, do you want to go back to school?" Yes. "When? Where? What would you study?" Good questions baby! I know I want to go back to school, but for what I'm not sure. I'd really like to swindle Comcast into paying for it (or at least part of it), so it's gotta be something that they'll see value in. I've also been thinking about saving to buy a house, because having my own car is amazing. Everything is better in my car. Music is better, the AC is cooler, McDonald's fries are crispier. Because I bought it, it's in my name, and I pay that bill. I feel like it's a first step towards *gasp* adulthood. So it's time to take the next step.

A terrible pic of me in those sunglasses I *loved* and somehow lost, and my sa-weet ride!

Without Further Ado...

I always loved the word, "ado." There is rarely an appropriate occasion upon which one can use it these days without sounding pompous or arrogant or overly fond of Shakespeare or just moronic. I have my dear friend Aubrey to thank for affording me a much needed chance to use it, for without further ado (yes!!) she has decided to create her own blog, the link to which is located on the right and should be used immediately and with frequency after that. The gal is brilliant, although she may shudder to hear me say so, but that just makes her all the more wonderful. Best writer I know, one of the funniest people on the planet; it's needless to point out at this juncture that your life will be missing a tiny little something every time that you elect NOT to click on the link to her site. So get with the program.

Sweetness

A pic that Shaun's friend Diane took at BW3's the night before Kira's wedding. I went to meet up with them since Shaun skipped his 10 year high school reunion the next night in order to come to the wedding with me. Thanks baby!

Big Brother Is Out of the Office

So here at Comcast they use Websense to block our internet access, but every once in a while Big Brother will turn a blind eye and we'll get unrestricted internet for a few days -- or weeks if we are very, very lucky. I came in today to discover that I could check my email, which was awesome because since Shaun doesn't have internet at his new apt yet (and I've been spending a lot of time over there) I've been kind of AWOL with the email recently. Amidst a bunch of junk in my inbox I had 3 real emails, which was cool.

This afternoon before coming in to work we had lunch with Kira and Jeff, who returned from their version of Honeymoon in Vegas on Wednesday. It was really nice! One of the best parts of their wedding and the whole process leading up to it was just how much I got to see Kira. After high school when she went to K'Zoo and I stuck around here our visits were few and far between. Jeff was, um, mentioning (I refuse to call it complaining, because who would ever complain about making babies with Kira??!) the recent onslaught of questions regarding the arrival of a new member of the Putt family and I said, "Well hey, I gotta different question for ya, when are you guys moving to the D???" Which Kira asks him every single day, so it wasn't really much of a relief, but it was funny....

Shaun drove me to work after that which means I have yummy leftover Mexican from Monterrey Cantina to eat for dinner, yeah!! Tomorrow we are going to BW3's in Ferndale to watch the Michigan vs. Eastern Michigan football game, which will be a gross spectacle of complete and utter humiliation for Eastern, but I gotta hope they put up a good fight since my cousin Steve Bednarik is on Eastern's team. I wish I'd thought about it a little sooner than Wednesday, cuz I probably could've gotten tickets!!

On Sunday we are goin to Zoo after I have my all employee meeting at "The Crap" at freaking NINE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!! Sucks! But at least we get paid for it. Love y'all!