Little Hellraisers

So lately A. and I (see her link to the right) have traded some thoughts on bad parenting, and crappy children, and when these two things merge with normal, logical people in public places, and how the result is often disgusting, disheartening, and excellent anti-kid advertising. This reminded me of a story I sometimes tell about a time when I was exposed to a particularly vicious little brat once upon a time ago in Borders in Ann Arbor.

First, some background. I love Harry Potter. I own all the books and have read them all multiple times. Months prior to the release of the 5th one (which came out in the summer of 2003) I visited my local Borders store and pre-ordered the book so that I'd be sure to have my shiny new copy as soon as it hit the shelves. So the much anticipated day came and I went to Borders and went to the check in table where they crossed my name off a list and gave me a number written on a small piece of paper, then directed me to another area where all of the books were behind a gimungous table which was being guarded by two employees of Borders. I traded my precious number for a copy and was holding the book, reading the inside cover, when a father approached with his 10 year old son. This is what he said:

Father: Hi. I didn't pre-order the book, I had no idea this was this big a deal, but I promised my son I'd get it for him today, we've already been to three other bookstores and nobody has it, is there any way you can give me one of these copies. (Of which there were literally stacks upon stacks, I mean probably at least 500 copies, if not more.)

So, as the Borders employee is telling the guy, "No," I was doing two things. 1: Wondering how anyone on Earth could not realize how popular these books are, especially if their kid is a fan. And, 2: Contemplating handing my copy to the kid, since he was just a kid and his dad was obviously trying, and he looked so bummed and brokenhearted and I could've brought the biggest smile to his face and saved his dad's butt. At that point the dad turned to the kid and said, "I'm sorry little buddy, we're just going to have to wait a couple days, noone has a copy for us."

Cue the biggest temper tantrum I have ever seen. Little man went crazy on his dad. First he was crying hysterically, then he was screaming and yelling, and then he started hitting and kicking his dad in the store!! I could not believe it. At that moment all my thoughts of handing my copy over to the little tyke evaporated and were replaced by thoughts for some serious, serious discipline. Followed by thoughts of how if I had ever behaved that way in public my ass -- as the saying so colorfully goes -- would have been grass. Followed by thoughts like, "Wow, how could this dad have driven to four freaking bookstores for this little shit?" and, "Jeez, what happens when he doesn't get exactly what he wants for his birthday?" and, "Boy am I glad I'm not his mama!"

Things like this make me wonder what in the sam hell parents are doing to discipline their kids these days. Personally, I got spanked. My mom also used the rinsing-your-mouth-out-with-soap punishment, which my kid brother suffered multiple times, whereas I cleverly avoided it. I don't see anything wrong with a swift little spank to the ass every once in a while. It was the proper combination of fear, pain, and shame to keep me in line most of the time. Although I suppose my mom will have to weigh in on that one. Maybe parents are just too tired to parent at the end of the day now. They have TV and video games and computers and the Internet to babysit their kids for them, so they don't put forth nearly enough effort or make nearly enough time. Pretty sad. But helpful for those of us that endeavor to be better parents than that, when we eventually do become parents some day -- in the very, very distant future!