PR

It's official. I love Project Runway almost as much as I love Sex & the City. I say almost because, for me, Sex will always be the greatest TV show of all time. But I digress.

With the evolution of reality television and its launch into orbit around the world, the quality has -- of course -- diminished significantly. I remember watching The Real World on MTV before you had to be a model who would make out with all your roommates after knowing them for 4.8 seconds. The first 3 seasons were actually an interesting social experiment. Bring a group of people together that would otherwise probably not meet each other and see how they might influence each other's lives. Now it's just total shite.

Project Runway is the only reality show that I watch, and I LOVE it. Shaun has been good enough to put up with my *having* to watch it every Wednesday (don't worry baby, I will remember this when I have to watch football so you can check your fantasy players' stats or whatever the hell). Last week I was truly and seriously pissed about who got kicked off (I am still in shock) and I was actually yelling profanities at the television set.

I think I like the show so much because the contestants actually have to have talent, genuine talent, in order to succeed. And it gives me good fashion tips. Plus I like seeing what Heidi's going to wear each week. But anyways. I actually know some men, heterosexual men at that, who do enjoy the show, although I will allow them to remain nameless in order to avoid being lambasted for liking a *gasp* FASHION show!! Hahahaha.... Well at least between PR and Entourage I have 1.5 solid hours of TV that I love each week. Now I just need Nip/Tuck to come back!!

Surprise!

Pardon the delay, dear readers. I've been rather busy.

Last weekend many months of careful planning paid off. I successfully surprised Shaun on Sunday by taking him to a Tigers game with his friends, sisters, Mom, and a good chunk of my family too! I think he was truly in shock when he saw everyone, and even though the Tigers lost we all still had a great time. Sunburn and all!

Something else that I wasn't planning on happened too. On Saturday night Kira picked me up to take me to what I thought was going to be dinner with just me and her. I was excited because I haven't seen her in about two months, (no kidding, two months!) and I was just looking forward to the two of us sharing some wine over dinner and catching up. But instead I got a surprise party too!! I also got an iPod Nano (SWEET!), some beautiful jewelry from Kathy and Shimron (thanks guys!), and my favorite perfume, Happy by Clinique, from Mom and Dad. All in all, a great weekend.

Thanks to everyone who helped with both events, and thanks to all our guests for coming, especially those who came downtown 2 nights in a row!! Also, anyone who took pictures either day please email the pics to me, only these two really turned out OK and I need more!

Weekend in D.C.

Weekend in D.C.

Some pics of me and Nik and her roomie and good pal, Soo. Woo hoo, sexy ladies!

Brothers & Sisters

Jesse is about a month old in this picture, according to my mom. She thinks the picture was taken in February (his birthday is 1/24), which would make me 3 1/2 years old.
So today my kid brother left to join the Navy Reserve. First he goes to boot camp in Chicago, and after his training there he'll go to San Diego for his skills training. He won't be done with everything until February, and at that point he might decide to go active duty. The morning I left for D.C. I realized that Jesse has never been on an airplane before. He said he was pretty nervous about that....

At first when he was thinking about joining I was really against the idea. I don't have very much confidence in our nation's leaders right now and I just felt that he was putting himself needlessly in harm's way. But what I've realized is that Jesse was already in harm's way, just by being stuck here, unhappy, and not knowing what to do with his life. It is in situations like those that people tend to make bad decisions and wind up in a world of trouble, or worse. Thinking about it like that has helped me realize that this is probably the best thing my brother has ever done with his life, and I just hope that he succeeds and is happy with his choice.

I think he'll be just fine.

Washington D.C.

So I am in D.C. visiting Nik and Bec and Jet and all I have to say at this point is that I freaking miss my girls! After being in Jetta's presence for about 30 seconds she was like, "So, when are you moving to D.C.?" Don't I wish I could afford to go away for grad school!? Alas, it is not so.

After dinner we went to the bars and it was fun just to kick it around town with the ladies. Nik's roommate and good friend, Soo, came out with us. Since Nik and Soo and I are all taken we had fun deflecting the guys. (And deflect them we did, Shaun!! Hahaha....) Although I have to say I missed him like CRAZY last night because we went to this club that was playing Daddy Yankee and tons of reggaeton music, (at one point the DJ was mixing Andean flute music in with the tracks and ALL I could think about was Ecuador) and I just knew that Shaun would have loved it.

Today I hung out with Bec for a while, we went to lunch at a great little Mexican place and then got some ice cream at a family style dairy place. After lunch we went back to her apartment and played with her new doggy that she adopted. Her place is really cute, all hardwood floors and lots of windows (including one in the bathroom AND one in the kitchen -- amazing!). Tomorrow she and Jetta leave to go to Puerto Rico for 10 days. After Beca's I came back to Nik's where she and Soo and Leigh proceeded to BBQ up a storm and served up a phatty meal for everyone.

Tomorrow Nik and I are going to Ozzfest (System of A Down, what?!?!) and it should be awesome. Ozzy decided to play the tour again this year and he is always entertaining, but truly the only reason we are going at all this year is because of System -- who are on the verge of becoming the greatest rock band of all time. Last time we went to System we had floor "seats" at the Palace - which are not seats at all because it's general admission -- and I think we actually scared men we were moshing so hard. No moshing this time around because we have pavillion seats, but that's cool because we can wear sandals and wear our hair down without having to worry about it getting accidentally ripped out of our scalps. It's gonna be sweet!

Now it's bedtime because I am tired as HELL. But more will follow, maybe even with pictures!

Goodnight all!

When the Going Gets Tough...

The tough get going.

So Shaun and I just made it through our first real rough spot and it feels good -- now that it's over. While we were fighting it felt like someone was crushing my heart with the weight of 1000 dictionaries. The really big, unabridged ones. I think we mostly had a communication breakdown, and my feelings were hurt and his feelings were hurt. The other night we sat and talked for a long time, and yesterday I woke up feeling better than I have in a good month or so.

I crazy love that man. Even when we're fighting, which really is not very often, I still know how much I love him. We both just need to remember patience and consideration sometimes.



This is us at Kira & Jeff's wedding. The wedding photographer took this one, which I love because it is so candid. And Nik looks HOT in the pic too! Bonus!

Quartet

Quartet


So I didn't have to go to ANY jobs today! I slept in my hammock, went to CVS to find some magic-nail-fixing-potion, and then went to Best Buy and bought the above four CDs. When I went to the check out the cashier, male, young, looked at each of my CDs and then looked at me and then looked back at the CDs and said, "Kind of an interesting collection of music. This all for you?" I said, "Yep." But I really wanted to say, "Mind your effing business." So far all of them are great.

My Dad Loves Fireworks

He always has loved fireworks. Since before I existed. Case in point: these pictures. They are from way before I was born. Just look at the freaking wallpaper for Pete's sake. It looks like an M.C. Escher drawing.

Tonight he held out his hand to reveal a little bundle of green paper in his palm -- a little bundle that happened to have a fuse attached to it. When I said, "What's that?" he grinned through his beard and said, "That's loud." Then he walked outside.

Moments later he came back inside, empty handed, and said, "Just wait. In a little bit that's going to be loud."

"What'd you do? Light it and walk away?"

"I stuck a lit cigarette to the end of it, that way it'll go real slow."

Five minutes later a huge BOOM! resonated through the house. My car alarm started going off. He came back into the kitchen to get my keys so he could turn off my car alarm.

Later he calls us outside for another one. This one he sets on the driveway, clear of the phone line that runs to our house from the street, lights with his Zippo with the picture of the trout on it, and runs away before the sparks start shooting up. We stand in the driveway and admire the display -- so do the kids across the street, who can be heard squealing, "Oooohhhhh!! Fireworks!!"

Yep. My dad loves fireworks.

Going to the Chapel...

Going to the Chapel...

And Matt and Beth got married! So, the much anticipated wedding was yesterday and it was a BLAST! Beth looked absolutely gorgeous in her dress -- no surprise there! -- and everyone else looked fantastic as well. Shaun is hot stuff in that tuxedo! The wedding ceremony was much shorter than I was expecting it to be, and after we left the church we went back to Matt & Beth's for a little while to hang out, take pictures, and snack on cheese and crackers before the reception.

The reception was beautiful, great food, decent DJs, and of course, lots of great company. Shaun's best man speech was sweet and to-the-point, he caught the garter belt (that's 3 in a row for him!), and once everyone started dancing we didn't stop til midnight! All in all, a great wedding! I can't wait to see everyone else's pictures, but here are some of mine for now!

And On The 14th Day She Rested

Today is my first day off since June 9th. I am loving that I do not have to go back to work until Monday!! And what a fun weekend to have off. Brian and Steph are in town for Steph's friend's wedding tomorrow, so I got to hang with them this afternoon before they headed out to the Tigers game. Also, Aunt Mary and Uncle Jim are in town, so we are all having dinner together tonight. And tomorrow is Matt and Beth's wedding!

Should be a party three day weekend if ever there was one.

Oh, and I got paid today! Stay tuned for pictures y'all.

I Can't Drive 65, and Other Bedtime Stories

So I know it's been about a million years since I updated. My bad. I've been getting more hours at Gap recently and I've been taking them because I need the dinero. Shaun now has two jobs as well, so between the two of us we have four -- who says there's an unemployment problem in Michigan?? I am OVER employed if you ask me. I have to work twice as hard just to afford my bills. But anyway, no excuses, shit has just been boring lately.

On Friday night I went out with Linda and Kathy to the Post Bar in Novi. It is pretty much the lamest bar on the planet. If I could talk my friends into it I would never go there again. Or Woody's in Royal Oak: also freaking lame! Friday everyone but me got totally and utterly annihilated -- so I brought everyone back to my house to sleep it off and then drove people home and to work the next morning. I swear I am the greatest friend of all time! (Haha, just kidding ladies, you know I got your backs!)

Today while driving to work I nearly had an aneurism while stuck behind some dillhole doing 65 in the fast line. My theory is thus -- if you want to be a law abiding citizen then whoo-hoo for you! But do NOT get in the fast lane of a FOUR LANE highway and impose your ideals about obeying the speed limit on the poor, unsuspecting people behind you. I go 80 whenever possible and when you get in my way, and then refuse to switch lanes and make me bob and weave and go three lanes out of my way to get around you, you're getting the bird, and that's all there is to it. Yes, I have road rage and I'm proud of it. I usually only express it while in the car alone. I try not to make other people suffer through the profanities that tumble out of my mouth when I get stuck behind someone that has zero business behind the wheel of a car anyway.

This weekend is Matt and Beth's wedding and I am super excited. I went to Nordstrom RACK with Kira (it was my first time there) and holy crap! I got a beautiful dress for $99 that was originally $365!! And some cute shoes for $50 too. Deal, deal, deal. Gap is having the biggest sale in the history of mankind right now, and I think it's the Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale as well, so Friday might be a shopping day!

In other news my Aunt Mary and Uncle Jim (Mom's little sis and her hubby) are coming to Detroit (*gasp* it's a miracle!) this weekend, and also Brian and Stephanie are going to be in town, so with the out-of-towners and the wedding this promises to be a very busy weekend.

Now I am going to go make some popcorn and watch Entourage again. It's my new Sex and the City. If you don't know about Entourage, you need to call your cable company and order HBO, hands down it's the best show on TV.

Peace out homies. More updates after this weekend. I'll have a LOT of new pics to put up.

Get To The Point

Get to the Point

So on Friday I went to Cedar Point with Nik, my friends Linda and Kathy from Gap, and Linda's friend Alissa. It was a bit rainy but we braved the weather to get some thrills on the greatest rollercoasters ever.

Yesterday Shaun and I went to the mall so that I could find a dress for Matt and Beth's wedding, but I was unsuccessful in my attempt. I obviously can't wear white to a wedding, and I don't really want to wear black. I was looking for a pretty color, but preferably all one solid color, and something that I can hide a bra underneath. I didn't even come close. But Shaun and I had fun playing with the SWEET iBooks at the Apple store.

After the mall we went to go see his dad's new condo, which is really nice but way, way out in BFE. (Well actually, I think it's Harrison Twp, but whatever.) We went to dinner with his dad and then went downtown to the Tigers game with his sister and her finacé. The Tigers beat the Indians 3-1 and it was a great game. A 2 run homer by Ordoñez, lots of double plays, and a beautiful fireworks show after the game. There were 37,000+ people at the park, by far more than I have ever seen at a Tigers game, and it got me thinking about what it would be like if the Lions are actually halfway decent this fall -- to have all our pro teams not suck ass in the same year!!

Kick Out The Jams!

Yep, It's Better than "Crash"

You heard me, "Brokeback Mountain," is better than "Crash." I watched it yesterday on a blissful day where I had NO jobs to attend and almost nothing that I absolutely HAD to do. I really should have cleaned up my room a little bit, and maybe done some laundry, but nope! I watched TV instead.

"Brokeback" was in On Demand and as I sat there listening to the preview I began to wonder what had been keeping me from seeing this movie. And then I remembered that Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger, two absolute cuties, have near naked cowboy sex with each other up on that now infamous mountain. Honestly my friends, I thought I was an open minded person, but how reluctant I've been to watch this movie is making me question just how open my mind really is. I am definitely not a homophobe, and I'm not one of those in-betweeners who says, "Hey, as long as you don't hit on ME, we're cool!" I've been hit on by lesbians before and it's not that big a deal. You just say, "Sorry, I'd rather kiss boys, but that's sweet of you to ask -- nice bracelet!," and go on with whatever you were doing.

But I suppose when I think about my response to a person of the same sex hitting on me, I am indeed talking about women. Lesbians, to be exact. And I feel like there is much less hullaballoo around women who like to get it on with each other, than there is with men who prefer other men. I mean, look at all that Girls Gone Wild stuff, it's girls making out with other girls, showering with other girls, blah blah blah. I've seen some, ahem, shall we say 'adult' cinema that includes men on men action, but mostly it just seems cheesy and corny and funny -- but then again most, um, 'adult' cinema strikes me as cheesy and corny and funny -- and sometimes just utterly gross. But I digress. The real reason it took me so long to see "Brokeback Mountain" is because I think Jake and Heath are hot, and I really just didn't know if I could handle watching them do their thing.

So surprise, surprise when it actually turned out to be kind of hot. Yes, I said that too, it was hot! And after thinking about it, I realized why: because of the emotion behind it. (And well, because Jake and Heath are HOT!) It's a story about forbidden love, and, for those of you who know me and my all time favorite books and movies, you know that's the shit I love! (Can you say, "The English Patient??") This story just proves that no matter who it's between, love is truly a beautiful thing; no matter what the genders are of the people in love, ther're in love and that's all that matters. It was also unbelievably well acted, and heartbreakingly sad. I cried, but then again I cried watching, "Fever Pitch," -- you know, with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore? But this cry was more like a, "Braveheart," or a, "Million Dollar Baby," kind of a cry.

I still haven't seen, "Capote," but honestly, Phillip Seymour Hoffman must have just done an amazing job to beat Heath Ledger out of this one. And I still haven't seen, "Syriana," but I don't think George Clooney really did beat Jake Gyllenhall out of this one, I think the Academy just wasn't ready to give an Oscar to a gay cowboy.

Turns out I'm not the only one who wasn't as open minded as I thought I was. Go rent it!

The Not-So-Great Depression

$85,000. Seems like a lot of money, doesn't it? That's because it is. And I'm drowing in it. Between $80,000 worth of student loans, my car loan, and my one remaining credit card that I am trying to pay off, I am dying in my debt. Somewhere between Van Dyke and Lahser I started crying, and I can't stop. I look at my degree from the University of Michigan hanging on the wall of my bedroom, where I still live in my parents' house, which is so far from being paid off it's absurd, and I honestly question whether or not it was really a good idea to have gone to school there. If I had known everything I know now back when I was 17, I think there's no way in hell I would've ended up going to school there. Or I would have, and studied engineering instead.

I know it's not my mom and dad's fault, but it is. And I know it's not my fault, but it is. And I know it's not because the economy in Michigan is so fucking crappy, but it is. It is everything and it is nothing and it is all day, every day, 24 hours a day, nonstop.

I've always been a smart kid, since I was 3. I find it hard to believe that my parents never realized that I'd be going to college one day, in fact I know they wanted me to go college, yet they saved nothing for it. Didn't prepare at all. Mom said to my 17 year old self, "If you get into Harvard, we'll pay for it, I don't care if I have to clean teeth till I'm 80, you'll go." And my 17 year old self thought, "Well OK, if you say so."

But now I realize that I want my mom to be able to retire. She deserves it. She's the hardest working woman I've ever known in my life, and if anybody on this earth deserves a relaxing retirement, it's her. It breaks my heart to think of her not getting that, because I just had to go to U of M! But why do I feel responsible and guilty because my parents did not have a financial plan that included me going to a school like U of M?? I mean it didn't help that dad got sick, of course, but even if that hadn't happened I think we'd still all be drowning in this mess. When they said go, I didn't question it, I was 17 and I trusted that they knew better than I did. But apparently none of us knew. And now I see my mom come home from work, and she's tired and she's frustrated, and I see my dad unable to work, and he's tired and he's frustrated, and I see my brother not really care if he works or not, which makes my parents tired and frustrated -- and I really want my mom to be able to retire. So that she can garden and read and walk the dog. So that she and my dad can go fishing.

It hurts me so deep in my heart that I now think of my education as pointless. I've been working 2 jobs for over a year now and neither one of them requires anything remotely close to the level of education that I have. A monkey could do what I do. All my education is helping me to see right now is what a fucking waste of time and money it was. And it helps me kick people's asses in Scrabble. And I know that what I learned while I was at U of M includes so much more than what I learned in class, but still, I am gasping for air and feel like I am about to die and none of that is good to me dead.

I think about my friends, the amazing friends that I made and how much I love them and how much I miss them and how far away they all are and how I don't have the money to visit, and don't have energy to call them because the last thing I want to do when I come home from having talked on the phone all day is talk on the phone. And I know that at this rate it's only a matter of time before they really aren't friends anymore. They'll just be the people I used to know when I was younger, and I'll be nonexistent to them. I think about what I learned about myself and what I want out of life, and what I learned about love and what I want in a man and a husband. And then I think, "What was the point?" because any man with half a brain would be insane to marry me with all my baggage. I've got more baggage than Louis Vuitton... and it's probably more expensive too. I feel less than worthless. $85,000 less than worthless to be exact.

I think about what I want my future to be like and how I want to have a career that I actually enjoy, where maybe -- God forbid -- I might make a little bit of money. How I want to get married and be somebody's wife, and have kids and be somebody's mother. And I want to be able to have a home and sign my kids up for every extra thing they want to do whether it's piano lessons or gymnastics or scuba diving or hockey or karate. And I want to be able to take vacations and show my kids the whole wide world, so that they understand what a huge mechanism they are a part of. And I want my husband to be able to buy a motorcycle if he wants, or go fishing with the guys and not have to worry about how we're going to buy groceries that week. And then reality sets in that probably none of that is going to really be possible. Not with the way things are going. Not unless I win the lottery.

All of this probably sounds really pathetic and pitiful, and I know that I am feeling sorry for myself, but lately I cannot even breathe because of it. I open my eyes in the morning and I think about my debt. I wash my hair, I brush my teeth, I start my car, I go to work and I think about my debt. It is crushing me and I am so, so tired. I want so badly to be able to go to graduate school but I feel like that would be the stupidest, most selfish thing that I could ever do. I'd just be digging myself deeper. Deeper and deeper and deeper. I want so badly to quit one of my jobs but I could never survive with just the one.

My mom tells me that if I just have faith, everything will be OK. But I don't have faith. I don't see how anything is going to be OK at this rate, and I can't break out of it. I'm sick of always driving everywhere and I'm sick of putting gas in my car. I'm sick of trying to remind Jesse that he should do this or do that knowing that he won't, and I'm sick that as scary as it is I'm actually glad he joined the Navy because nothing else seems to work. I'm sick of the stupid people I talk to on the phone every day. I'm sick of our stupid president and how he turns people against each other when really we are all so much the same. I'm sick of worrying about everybody all the time, and I'm sick of knowing that people worry about me.

I just don't know what to do anymore, and mom's hugs aren't helping, and Shaun's hugs aren't helping, and I'd really love to go see a therapist and a financial planner, but of course none of that is free -- which means I can't afford it.

So I guess I'll just do what I do every night that I sleep here. Go to bed, watch some of my free cable, and fall asleep in all my pillows with Blue Bear in my arms.

Then tomorrow I'll get up and go to work.

No Basketball for You!

So the other night at work the shit hit the fan. For some reason the network (which shall remain nameless) that was supposed to broadcast the Pistons playoff game in Flint -- and all of mid Michigan actually -- just forgot to broadcast it on the standard channel. It was available on the HD channel, for those lucky few who can afford HD TVs and digital cable and an HD converter box, but for Mr. & Mrs. Average Joe with regular old cable (or rabbit ears) they just could not see the game. Period.

I have never been cussed out that many times in a single night before. Even yesterday, the day after the disaster, we still had people calling about it. It's amazing how people think that we actually control things like that. We can't make something appear on a certain channel, we are just the messenger! It's a simple concept really. I have at least one call a week that goes like this, "What channel is XXXX on?" Try looking it up on TV Guide.com, or check the paper, or, as a last resort, just channel surf til your dumbass finds it.

Anyway, in between getting told to, "Shut the hell up," and, "I f*cking hate your company, I missed the whole game last night!" I drew a stick figure cartoon, because I have zero artistic ability, that summarizes the whole situation. I present it now for your viewing pleasure. Toodles!

Fun Weekend

So this weekend was pretty fun. Friday night Linda and Kathy and I went to Roosevelt's in Farmington and ended up getting hit on by the three strangest guys ever. One was tall and skinny with a mouth full of braces who opened the conversation with the classic line, "I almost went to Arizona State,"and two were short -- one with a gigantic noggin and the other with some *huge* glasses that magnified his eyes to about 4x the normal size. Their names were Mike, Mike, and Pat. After a few minutes of politely chatting with them, Kathy mentioned our boyfriends, hoping that would drive them away. But no! That only prompted the tall one to begin complaining about his girlfriend, who was apparently hanging out with some other dude that night. It took us what seemed like FOREVER to get them to leave, and afterwards the bartender came over to us to ask if it had been as bad as it looked from far away. "Yes," we replied in unison, "it was." I must say that it was entertaining though. It's not often you get to see three products of inbreeding that close up.

On Saturday I went to Beth's bridal shower and got to hang out with the ladies of Shaun's family without him around, which was kind of neat. I really love that I genuinely get along with them, especially since I have never, ever dated a guy with sisters before. We had good food at Olive Garden and had fun watching Beth open her presents. She is going to be such a beautiful bride! After the shower I went home to take a nap before meeting up with Shaun and some of his friends from Art Van at the Blarney Stone in Royal Oak.

Yesterday was spent cleaning my room before heading out to Ann Arbor to see Lys since she is in town for her little sister's graduation from U of M. (Holy crap!) I realized that it had been THREE YEARS since we'd seen each other, and it was SO nice just to grab a beer and catch up on old times. Shaun came with and I think he was truly and deeply impressed by the beer selection at Ashley's pub in Ann Arbor. We even stole a pint glass to add to his growing collection! Hooray for big purses.

Anyways, today it's back to work after a lovely three day weekend. It's nice that I only have to work four days before I get two more off again.

Are you people who read this still alive?? I haven't had a comment in eons.

Ready, Steady, GO!

So, I am 7 days in to my 13 straight days of work and I cannot wait for it to be OVER. Somehow, inexplicably, I was scheduled for 21 hours at the Gap this week, after months of getting a 5 hour shift every two weeks. With that on top of the regular 40 hr a week grind I am one tired little lady. I wanted to put some pics of the eggs that I decorated for Easter up here, since they came out SWEET!

It wasn't the same making them without Nik or Steph there, but I had a lot of fun with Georgana and Cameron, who came over and experimented with the dyes and stuff.

On Easter Shaun and I went to his mom's for brunch, but I couldn't stay because I had to be at work at 1:30. Mom cooked up a storm here as well and I enjoyed the leftovers.

Last night Shaun and I crashed his friend Laura's wedding. (Well we didn't really crash, we just went to the reception to see Laura, get our groove on, and dig on the free bar.) It was really neat since she was Shaun's prom date in high school, some of his other friends from high school were there as well, all girls, and it was fun to meet them all. I think Shaun had a really good time seeing everyone again too.

Now I am off to change into some jeans and a tee shirt and then head out to dinner with my baby. We're in for a relaxing night of movie watching (and perhaps Scrabble playing!) since I am so exhausted after my loooong work week.

Emergency 911

While driving home from Shaun's this morning I found myself listening to the morning crew at 95.5 talk about the whole 911 thing that's going on in the Dirty Dirty D right now. For those who don't know, Jeffrey Fieger, former gubernatorial candidate and defense attorney for Dr. Jack Kevorkian, has taken the case of a woman who called 911 in Detroit after having been shot five times only to have the 911 operator accuse her of making a crank call, tell her to put someone else on the phone to confirm the injuries, and deadpan, "You wouldn't still be alive if you were shot five times!" The woman who had been shot (and yes, she'd actually been shot five times) ended up hanging up the phone and calling back two hours later, when emergency vehicles were FINALLY sent to her home to discover the five bullet wounds in various parts of her body.

This has brought to light another call to 911 in Detroit by a little boy who called to report that his mother had been shot only to be admonished in a highly unprofessional manner by the operator that, "When the police get there you gonna be in trouble!" On the radio this morning they played the tapes back to back in an attempt to determine if the same 911 operator took both of the calls, but it was too hard to tell. I personally think it sounded like two different people, which is even more disgusting than the idea that just one person in the world could do that.

The 911 switchboard, or whatever it's called, claims that 25% of the phone calls it gets are prank calls, and they "train" their operators to try to weed out the prank calls. Excuse me, but last I checked I thought it was illegal to call 911 if it's not a bonafide emergency. If I call 911 and only get to say, "HELP! I live at blah blah blah, I've been shot--" and then my would be murderer cuts the phone line, I want to be DAMN sure that at least one cop and one ambulance are en route to my house within 1 minute of that disconnect. That's why I pay taxes. There are kids, and stupid people, in this world who will call 911 as a joke, but nothing will put them off thinking it's funny like having a fully uniformed Detroit cop (or two) show up at your door ready to bust somebody's shit, only to find out that little Billy thought it'd be a giggle to call 911 and hang up 5 times while his mom was in the shower.

As much as I want to criticize Detroit's government for this, I suppose I can understand why they do this. It costs a lot of money to send a cop out on a 911 call, and it takes him or her away from whatever else they were doing -- which in the D is a lot. If it turns out to be a fake call I'm sure that they'd rather not have sent a squad car out because of the financial factor, in spite of the fact that that is probably the best deterrent to prank calls. (Little Billy tells his friends what happened when he did it, so they tell their friends, who tell their cousins, and pretty soon every kid in the neighborhood knows that the S.W.A.T. team shows up when you prank 911.) It would be too easy to criticize Detroit's government for cutting money from the Police Department (and the Fire Department, and Public Schools, etc.), and it wouldn't really be fair because they've had to cut money from EVERYWHERE because there is NO money....

But how much money did the Detroit casinos earn in 2005? And what percentage of that amount went to the city? Right. That's what I thought.

Who Says Blondes Have More Fun?

Not me, that's for sure.