Slackin' on my Pimpin'

Lately, I have been slackin' on my pimpin', there is just no other way to say it. I HAVE NOT BEEN GETTING SHIT DONE! Ok, so maybe that was another way to say it. Examples, you ask?

#1: Tonight I came home from work to find proof that I am shitty ass friend, and it's all thanks to the USPS. My friend John, bro to Alyssa, attempted to send me a little sumthin' when I was living in Ecuador. That was November 2003 - April 2004. It was returned to him after many months of sitting in a completely inefficient Ecuadorian post office well after I had already returned home. Then he attempted to send it to me again in Bloomington, IN, where I lived for about a month this past Fall. Well, that was also returned to him, because by the time it got to Indiana I wasn't there anymore either. So today I finally received it, and it's a letter (well 3 actually, one for every delivery attempt) and a CD with about 20 songs on it, every single one of which has my name in the title. Is that not so sweet?? Yea, and I haven't talked to John since I don't even really remember when, and here he is going to all this trouble and spending an obscene amount of money on postage (OK well, $8 is obscene for one letter and a little CD) to send me a homemade CD. I suck. If that's not enough proof, read on!

#2: My homeboy Brian (Hey HAW! -- I have no idea what's going on right now....) has been calling me and keeps getting my voicemail (also known as Mama Williams), and I keep not calling him back because I a) work a lot and b) have no cell phone and c) am barely ever at home. He just passed his Playing Ability Test (for he is a badass golfer and endeavors to be a pro someday) after working so hard for it, and I know I need to call him to offer up my phatty congratulations, but I still just haven't. Part of it is kind of because I talk on the phone ALL FUCKING DAY at work, and so when I do come home I like to not be on the phone, but part of it is just me being a shitty friend. Again, I suck. Still not convinced? Keep reading!

#3: Walgreen's has been calling me to come pick up the prescription I was supposed to have collected on Friday (and this is my thyroid medicine, which I really need to take every day, and haven't taken since Friday).

#4: I think that I have been telling my dad, "Yea Dad, I'm going to get my oil changed this weekend, I know, I know!" for about 2 months now. No lie. I hope my engine doesn't blow up tomorrow on the way to Big Ray's, that'd be pretty shitty. And probably cost a whole more than $29.99.

#5: My student loan collector people (A.K.A. Psycho Phone Stalkers From HELL) call like five times a day (along with my 3 absurdly late credit card collector agent people) from all sorts of fun places like Maryland, Kentucky, and Out of Area (which sounds like a pretty far out and groovy place to visit if only one could obtain discernible directions), and I avoid them like the plague. I let the machine get it, and then they get to listen to my dad's cryptic and somewhat halting answering machine message that has one of those really long pauses after the, "Hello," part of it, to make you think you actually got a person and then, WHAM!, you realize it's just a fucking irritating ass answering machine, AGAIN. I swear, I just gave these people like $1000, isn't that ENOUGH to get them to stop phone stalking me??!!

And #6: I'm pretty sure I missed a mandatory meeting at the Gap on Tuesday, that I selected to attend, and so really have no excuse for missing. Hope I'm not fired. It would suck ass to lose my discount.

So anyway, those are just a few of the reasons why I suck lately. To all my homies that I have not been in touch with, just know that I think about you guys a lot, and miss you all, especially those that are far away, and some day I will get my act together and send you emails or call. Maybe that is what I will do this weekend.

In the meantime, you should click on my Maddox link on the right and read his rant about Star Wars. WARNING: it contains spoilers. But the shit is funny as H-E-double hockey sticks.

Oh and P.S., I've discovered that caramel Hershey's kisses are the greatest thing ever.