Jesse's Tattoo

So my brother got a tattoo in memory of our friend, Nick, who passed away just this past February. The tattoo is of a cross, all cracked and broken, and has the years of Nick's birth and death and his first name on banners across it. The tattoo artist did an excellent job, but I don't know how I feel about it. Jesse has never been one to show emotion, and so I know that he must be thinking about Nick a lot to do this. I think it might be his way to remind himself every day, so that he never forgets his friend.

I think about Nick every single day. I still can't believe that I will never see him again. Never get to swindle him and Jesse out of their Halloween candy like we did when we were all kids. Or just hear him laugh. I was sitting at the computer, exactly as I am now, when my dad came into the living room and said, "I have to go to Tony's. They found little Nick dead in his bed up at MSU." I felt like my heart was frozen, and my mom just kept asking over and over how it happened.

He's interred at Holy Sepulchre Cemetary, which is at 10 Mile and Beech, right on the way to Nikki's house, among other things. Every time I drive by I blow him a kiss. I wish I knew what to say to Carrie (his sister, who is my age). I want to call her, but I just don't know what words would come out of my mouth. I can't help but think that anything I say will be silly and irrelevant, even though I know that if I were in her situation I'd just like for people to try. I wrote a little testimonial on the website she set up in his memory (see the links at the left), which I'm sure his family has read, but other than that, I don't know what else I can say. I can't even write about it in my journal. I just start crying....

Sigh. Nick, we miss you. Watch out for us all, OK?