Hey Jude = Hi-Larious!

Do you think I could adopt this young man? He makes the world a better place, much like The Beatles did with their (original) music.

Just watch it. I promise you won't be sorry.

Alternative Spring Break 2008

How cool is THIS? Alternative Spring Breakers descended on Detroit last week for a marathon of service projects in and around Detroit.


Learn more about Franklin-Wright Settlements.

Learn more about United Way for Southeastern Michigan.

Is It Just Me?

Or does this seem incredibly wrong:

This would be former Army Ranger Ivan Castro, who lost his sight while fighting in Iraq. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think that it's great that there are programs that exist to help our wounded Iraq and Afghanistan veterans once they've returned home. But do we have to slap a giant, orange sign across their chest that says, "VISUALLY IMPAIRED" and push them down a giant snow covered hill? Couldn't we give them a sign that says, "WAR HERO," instead? Or at least, "I GAVE UP MY VISION FOR FREEDOM, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE LATELY?" OK, maybe that last one is pushing it, but you get my point. Let's not make them look pitiful, if we can at all possibly help it.

Read more about this here.

Oh, and Ralph Nader announced that he will be running for President. Come on Mr. Gore, the world is waiting for you!

Best Valentine's Day Card. Ever.

She's got love on her mind. He just wants to get some ass. Classic.

Which Book Are You?

I'm One Hundred Years of Solitude.

Find out which book you are.

The Merging of Lives

If I do say so myself, I have to give Shaun and I some major credit. It's hard to begin merging your lives when one of those lives is mostly in Texas. He comes home to Michigan on March 15th (probably) by the way. In time for St. Patrick's Day, which he is particularly excited about.

The day to day business of sharing your life with someone is a lot easier when you can just turn to them while you're both sitting on the couch watching tomorrow's weather and say, "Did you remember to pay your cell phone bill this month?" When you never share a couch you tend to forget to ask, over and over again. Then one day you write it down on a post-it while at work, by some miracle of nature you remember to bring the post-it home, and then you go to call them to ask, "Hey, did you remember to pay your cell phone bill?" -- only when you call you get a message that says their phone has been temporarily disconnected. Ostensibly due to non-payment of the aforementioned bill. Thereby rendering the reminder post-it useless. And wasting paper, apologies Mr. Gore.

This situation is hypothetical, of course, as I pay our cell phone bill every month -- mostly on time, when AT&T isn't pissing me off. (They recently overbilled me by $400, took SEVEN phone calls to get it fixed. Oh for the love. Never ever change your plan if you can at all help it.) It's meant to exemplify how difficult it is to communicate about every day matters when you don't see each other every day. But money in particular is an area where Shaun and my communication skills have always seemed to fly out the window at the last second, and leave us screaming at each other, and I find it to be an even more daunting task over such a distance. We resolved to not let this happen anymore (the screaming part), but we definitely still think very differently about that stuff that can't buy love, as Sir Paul once sang.

It boggles my mind a bit how much a calm, honest conversation can accomplish. Shaun and I have had many of those in the past week - we also had some blow up arguments, some of which were through text messaging, which I've determined is the *worst* possible form of communication in existence today. Smoke signals are probably more effective. But I feel like progress is being made. One of us gets upset and we are almost forced to talk about it because we can't do anything else except talk! In that way it's good that we have to speak on the phone so much, but I think we will both appreciate the face to face discussion a lot more than we used to once he is back in Michigan.

Faith

Faith is a best-selling album by George Michael.

It is also these things:

1. confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.
2. belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.
3. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims.
4. belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.
5. a system of religious belief: the Christian faith; the Jewish faith.
6. the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement, etc.: Failure to appear would be breaking faith.
7. the observance of this obligation; fidelity to one's promise, oath, allegiance, etc.: He was the only one who proved his faith during our recent troubles.
8. Christian Theology. the trust in God and in His promises as made through Christ and the Scriptures by which humans are justified or saved. —Idiom
9. in faith, in truth; indeed: In faith, he is a fine lad.

[Origin: 1200–50; ME feith, see also: confide]

For me, faith is complicated. I've watched my mom struggle with her faith my whole life. We used to attend mass and she would remain seated when almost everyone else stood up to take communion. When I asked her why she stayed in her seat, she said, "Well, because I'm divorced, and they don't like that." My child's brain thought, But wasn't your ex-husband mean to you? Isn't that why you got divorced? I couldn't understand why God would be mad at her for leaving someone who treated her poorly. At that point it was God vs. Mom, and I was firmly on Mom's side. Any church that didn't like my mom was no church of mine. Then I found out that when I was born she'd met with a priest to see about having me baptized. The priest told her that she wasn't a good Catholic, and couldn't be a good Catholic example to her children, and should consider baptizing them elsewhere. When I found that out, it was pretty much a done deal. Not only had they rejected Mom, they'd rejected me before I could even speak!

In college years later, only a few months after my grandmother died, I found myself starting to wonder about that God who had rejected my mother and I all those years ago. Somehow my mom was still able to lean on her faith to help her through difficult times, and I felt like something was missing from my life, maybe it was faith? With the passing of time I'd learned that not all religions felt the same way about divorce, and I'd started to separate the idea of God from the idea of the different religions and all their rules. (I wonder still what God's opinion of religion is, since it is so often used to divide people.) But seeing as how the overwhelming majority of faithful people the world over feel that God is most easily accessed through religion, I decided to take a religion class. It was about the Old Testament of the Bible, but from an historical perspective. I felt I'd be more comfortable in a classroom environment than in a chruch, but the class was a three hour lecture in a room with no windows in the middle of the summer, about all I learned was that my professor was incredibly sexy. We're talking a modern day Indiana Jones here folks. I enjoyed the lectures, but it was still not the faith I was seeking.

And so that brings me to where I am today. Engaged to a man who is Catholic and who will undoubtedly want our children to be raised Catholic. While there are certainly elements of Catholicism that this pro-choice gal totally disagrees with, I can't deny that my mother's faith has been an immensely important part of her life, and it's helped her to cope with some of the most difficult things humans go through during our short time here. I envy that. If I am going to raise kids a certain way I know I need to learn more about it, so I'm planning to start attending mass as often as I can. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Maybe all I really need to remember is that of all the people I've ever met in my life, I have the most faith in Shaun. I trust him completely.

Perhaps that's the faith I've been missing.

We're Engaged!

So over the holidays Shaun popped The Question and I said, "Yes!" He's back in Texas now finishing up school and will be home in the Spring. We are hoping that he will be home in mid-March, but it could be April before he's back in Michigan. I'm pulling for March, and I know he is too - he'd hate missing St. Patrick's Day!

Here are some fun pictures for your enjoyment. The wedding will probably be in May 2009, but we're not sure of the day yet.

One Down, Five to Go

Congratulations are in order my friends, if I do say so myself. I have just (and when I say 'just' I literally mean just this very minute) completed my first semester of graduate school. Only five more to go before I'm a librarian. YAY! This means that for an ever-so-brief period of time (namely, between right now and January 11th at 1:30 PM) I will actually have - miracle of miracles! - *free* time! Holy crap! What the heck is that?! And to think, I've begun considering continuing on to get my PhD, I must be INSANE.

Some things I am looking forward to doing in the coming days and weeks include, but are not limited to:

• seeing Steph and Brian's new house
• calling Linda back (sorry dude, it's been ridiculous)
• watching TV without feeling guilty about the time spent doing some activity other than studying, and catching up on all the episodes of Nip/Tuck that have been collecting in my DVR
• reading something that is NOT from a library science journal (Vogue, here I come!)
• drinking adult beverages
• spending time with old friends while they are in town
• cooking fun Christmas goodies
• finishing my Christmas shopping
• having fun
• giving my brain a much deserved break

And, saving the best for last:

• I get to see Shaun when he comes home from Texas!!!! YAY!

Think I'm excited about that last one?

Get Smart, Give Back

Hello lovelies.

Want to play a fun vocabulary game (ahem, Scrabble fans, this means YOU) and also feed the needy at the same time?

Visit FreeRice.com and earn 20 grains of donated rice for every word you correctly identify the definition for. The game is smart, it automatically adjusts to your vocabulary level based on your answers, so it's sure to challenge even those of you who love to tap into your $5 word collection!


Yesterday, December 2, they donated 231,789,260 grains of rice through the United Nations World Food Programme (WFP). Put it in your Web browser's list of favorites and waste some time at work or school while feeding hungry people all at the same time! That way when your boss says, "Hey, what are you doing goofing around on the Internet all day for?" You can say, "I'm ending world hunger, what are you doing?"

I donated 300 grains of rice of today, how much did you give?

Technology Hates Me, Part 2

So today the transmission on my car blew up. I swear to holy heaven. I don't know what the freaking deal is, but this is becoming totally ridiculous. I am scheduled to make my LAST car payment on this thing in T-minus 3 months and counting, and *of course* the effing transmission has to go and blow up on me! To make things worse, the tranny was rebuilt, brand new, for me when I bought it in August 2005. Sure, it's been two years and 35,000 miles, but a transmission ought to last a far piece longer than THAT!

On the flip side, my new hard drive arrived in the mail, fresh from Gateway. Shimron (Shaun's best friend), bless his heart, has ever-so-kindly agreed to examine the busted hard drive and see if any of my data can be recovered, as well as install the new one for me. He told me tonight he can even have it back to me tomorrow, which is a blessing because my homework is piling up and I NEED my computer!!

So, lovely readers, please keep your fingers crossed for me that, by some miracle of nature, a magical money elf appears and offers to pay for my transmission rebuild so that I can still buy my family and friends Christmas presents this year, because it'll probably cost me at least $1000, which is my Christmas budget.

Fingers crossed people!!

Technology Hates Me

So tonight, for no apparent reason other than the fact that technology hates me, my hard drive on my *brand spanking new* -- and expensive as all get out -- Gateway notebook failed. After 45 minutes on the phone with Mark from Gateway support I was faced with two horrible options:

1. They can ship me a new hard drive in 3-5 business days, which I then have to install, and then I have to ship the defective hard drive back to them within 30 days, otherwise they charge my credit card the cost of the new hard drive, OR
2. I get to PAY to ship my whole computer back to them, they fix it and ship it back to me -- in 3-4 WEEKS!

I think I did pretty good while on the phone with young Mark, I didn't yell, I didn't cry, I only used the F bomb once, and not at him, more as a groan of complete and total frustration. But as soon as I hung up I burst into tears. I have most of my important documents for school backed up on a flash drive, and what's not there I can download again. But my photos, all the music in my iTunes, just gone.

I did a lot of research before I bought my computer, more research than I've ever done before purchasing anything, except maybe my education. I ended up spending a LOT of money on my Gateway because I had never heard of anything like this happening to a Gateway owner and I figured that if you're going to buy a good computer, you might as well buy a good computer. Dell owners have horror stories, HP's are not much better, I *almost* bought a Mac, but thought that the learning curve of getting used to a Mac while also starting grad school and a new job might be a bit much. If only I had listened to my inner Shaun and just bought a Mac, I could actually take my computer into a store and talk to someone, IN PERSON! What a concept!!

Now you may be thinking, Maria, we know this is bad, but come on? You think technology hates you just because of this one incident? To that, dear readers, I say no. My brand new Dell at work, that was replaced three weeks ago because the only slightly less new Dell that I was using crapped out on me, has been acting possessed as well! I have constant trouble with the image on both monitors, and lately it's taken to flipping to a blue screen after encountering some horriffic error, and then forcing me to reboot. I save my data every 4 seconds, just in case.

In addition to that, I've been having an EXCESSIVE amount of trouble with my cell phone. I upgraded to a Samsung Blackjack in October, which quit working 27 days later. So I exchanged it for a Palm Treo, which then quit working SIX days later. So I had to have that one replaced too!! I'm afraid to even turn on my television or start my car, and I hope my bad luck manages to hold off til I'm done with this post, otherwise I'll obliterate Little Brother's computer too.

Honestly, is my blood magnetized in some mutant way that causes electronic devices to go haywire on me? Do the Powers That Be not understand that I depend on my computer for school?? Where is Yoda when I need him???

I think it's time to breathe and reboot, and hope that when I get my new hard drive in the mail I'll be able to install it.

Sympathy, words of wisdom, and advice are all particularly welcome at this time.

Goofin' Around On Turkey Day

Me, Cameron & Natalie taking a time out from a tickle war to pose for the camera.

The Grand Eye-Opening at the DIA

So the DIA (Detroit Institute of Arts) has been closed since last May and is re-opening to the public this weekend. I decided to buy a membership ($80 gets two adults in for free any time we want for one year, + 10% off at the DIA shop) and so I took my mom last weekend, during the member preview.

Normally I don't like to take a lot of pictures inside museums because I think it's hard to photograph that type of experience, but I just had to include these of the Diego Rivera murals that completely fill all the wallspace in the part of the museum that is now called Rivera Court. Mom went to go find a bathroom and so I got to sit and just start at these for a while. They're pretty amazing. I've been meaning to look up how long it took him to complete them, but I keep forgetting.

Apparently the renovation that the DIA undewent is a bit controversial in the art world. In my humble, non art-expert opinion, they did a fantastic job. The DIA looks beautiful. Plus they incorporated a variety of interative and informational elements to the exhibits, to make it more accessible to the non-expert crowd (such as myself!), and I think that is such a smart idea! The DIA has an incredible collection (including works by Monet, Degas, Cezanne, Cassat, Van Gogh, and many others) and almost no one was visiting the permanent collection. When traffic moved through the DIA it was for special exhibits. Somehow I don't think they'll have that problem anymore.

Check out more about the DIA, and go downtown to see it in person!

Congratulations Matt & Jody!

For Better or Worse

Lately I've been thinking a lot about wedding vows. My uncle skipped out on my aunt and their two kids back in January and has basically been acting like a King sized A-hole ever since. Now he's actually filed for divorce and she needs to get a lawyer. She's been a stay at home mom for the last 18 years, we're all a bit worried about what's going to happen to her and the children. None of us understands how he could do something like this, he's never come off like a King sized A-hole in the last 25 years. I guess people are just full of surprises.

A friend of my mom's has also told us that she caught her husband of 35 years in bed with another woman. He moved out and in with his woman and her three kids, wants a divorce. When she asked him what it was that she had done that was so terrible it warranted him giving up their marriage of 35 years he listed the following things as some of the reasons:

• she's overweight
• she doesn't like to do the same things he likes to do, namely hunt & fish
• she doesn't like to watch the same TV shows

She's told both of their sons, who are now both incredibly pissed at their dad. The oldest of their sons has been a Marine for the last decade and said he will never talk to his father again because of this; he ended up getting divorced a few years ago because his then wife was cheating on him - after only a few years of marriage, and (I'm pretty sure) while he was off fighting for our country somewhere.

Shaun and I have been talking about how we are at a point in our relationship again where we both feel like we could get married someday. We've managed to work our way through a really hard conflict and still come out loving each other like crazy on the other end, I think that's a good sign. After everything that we've gone through, and the thinking I've been doing about my aunt and our family friend, I've been wondering how they were smart enough to include the, "for better or worse," part in the traditional marriage vows? Years of experience in observing marriages I guess. I think that there are way too many young people these days that get married and do not understand the type of commitment that marriage is supposed to be. I never want to give up on the person that I make those promises to, that's why you have to be careful who you choose to dedicate your life to. For better or worse is no small promise.

How Cute Are We?

Kodak Moment!

So this weekend I am in Chicago for Shaun's graduation from Navy boot camp. The collage above shows some pictures from today, including the incredible "Ass Cake" that Kathy T made for him. Complete with daisy insignias on the back pockets, it's HILARIOUS and Shaun loved it. We plan to eat it tomorrow.

We still have one more day to spend with him and it's been an emotional experience, to say the least. He's lost a LOT of weight (as all of you can see from the pictures), and I know he's tired, but he looks fantastic.

Even though I saw him today and get to see him again tomorrow, I miss him SO much! And he can't come home until February because he still has to go to Dallas for his A school. At least he will be able to use the phone and stuff once he gets to Dallas, but it's still hard not to be able to spend time with him and just hang out!

I'll write more later, for now I am tired. MW signing off.

I Love My Sailor

High Infidelity

Adrian Lyne is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors. I've been slowly (very slowly, grad school is crazy) renting his films from Netflix and it's interesting to watch them all so close together. He seems to be drawn to the complex emotions that exist between men and women when sex and love get all mixed up with each other. (It helps that his movies are particularly well cast.) He's directed a lot of popular films (including Flashdance) and I've always loved Indecent Proposal. Two weekends ago I watched 9 1/2 Weeks and tonight I watched Unfaithful.

I'd already seen Unfaithful. I rented it shortly after it came out on video -- I wanted to see if Diane Lane deserved her Oscar nom. Her performance is wonderful, but overall I remember being unimpressed. In fact, I thought it was downright stupid. (I should warn you now, this will contain spoilers. If you haven't seen Unfaithful and want to, stop reading immediately or it will be utterly ruined. Consider yourself warned.) After a second viewing several years later, I find myself of a much different mind.

If you've seen the movie, I suggest skipping to the next paragraph. If you haven't, and you aren't bored with this post already, then read on. The basic premise is that a beautiful, intelligent, bored suburban wife and mother (Lane) initiates a torrid affair with a young, gorgeous, French book dealer living in SoHo (Olivier Martinez - yum!). The husband is played brilliantly by Richard Gere. As her affair spirals further and further out of control, the husband's growing suspicions find him hiring a private detective to follow his wife. Once he has undeniable photographic proof he heads to the lover's apartment and accidentally ends up killing him when he discovers that his wife has given her young lover a gift that he had given to her years before -- a snow globe. He dumps the body in a massive garbage dump. Days pass, he says nothing. She eventually finds the photos from the private detective in his coat pocket a week later, after the police have come to see if she knows where her young lover is, and when she finds the snow globe back in its place on the window sill, she not only knows that her husband knows about the affair, but also that her husband has murdered her lover. The movie ends with husband and wife sitting in their car in front of a police station, contemplating whether to run away to Mexico with their nine year old son or turn themselves in. The viewer is left to guess. I personally think they turn themselves in.

The first time around I disliked the movie because I hated Diane Lane's character. I thought her selfish and foolish and could not for the life of me figure out why she would risk destroying what is depicted as a wonderful marriage -- to a handsome man like Richard Gere at that! I felt like it was her fault that her husband ended up cracking open the young lover's skull with the snow globe, and I wanted her to go to jail. I was mad at the way the movie ended, I thought it let her get away with murder. Upon a second viewing, I still think that she is selfish and foolish, but I feel sorry for her. I still don't know why she does what she does, and maybe I never will (hopefully not!), but she just seems so desperate to feel excited. Excited in a way her husband can't make her feel. I wonder if that is why a lot of married people cheat? Does the sex and the intimacy lose its excitement so much that they look for it elsewhere? No doubt that is the reason for some people. Who knows about the others. Fortunately most of them just end up getting divorced, not committing murder. This is the kind of movie that makes me afraid of marriage. Either way, it's a movie worth renting. I'll be watching it again before I send it back to Netflix!