Lately I've been thinking a lot about wedding vows. My uncle skipped out on my aunt and their two kids back in January and has basically been acting like a King sized A-hole ever since. Now he's actually filed for divorce and she needs to get a lawyer. She's been a stay at home mom for the last 18 years, we're all a bit worried about what's going to happen to her and the children. None of us understands how he could do something like this, he's never come off like a King sized A-hole in the last 25 years. I guess people are just full of surprises.
A friend of my mom's has also told us that she caught her husband of 35 years in bed with another woman. He moved out and in with his woman and her three kids, wants a divorce. When she asked him what it was that she had done that was so terrible it warranted him giving up their marriage of 35 years he listed the following things as some of the reasons:
- she's overweight
- she doesn't like to do the same things he likes to do, namely hunt & fish
- she doesn't like to watch the same TV shows
She's told both of their sons, who are now both incredibly pissed at their dad. The oldest of their sons has been a Marine for the last decade and said he will never talk to his father again because of this; he ended up getting divorced a few years ago because his then wife was cheating on him - after only a few years of marriage, and (I'm pretty sure) while he was off fighting for our country somewhere.
Shaun and I have been talking about how we are at a point in our relationship again where we both feel like we could get married someday. We've managed to work our way through a really hard conflict and still come out loving each other like crazy on the other end, I think that's a good sign. After everything that we've gone through, and the thinking I've been doing about my aunt and our family friend, I've been wondering how they were smart enough to include the, "for better or worse," part in the traditional marriage vows? Years of experience in observing marriages I guess. I think that there are way too many young people these days that get married and do not understand the type of commitment that marriage is supposed to be. I never want to give up on the person that I make those promises to, that's why you have to be careful who you choose to dedicate your life to. For better or worse is no small promise.
3 comments:
My dear friend, Amy, was married for 18 years and with her husband for 22 years when he decided to cheat on her. She is a fellow Coast Guard spouse and sacrificed a lot to be one, as we all do. When she found out she was totally blindsided and had no idea where this was coming from. When she asked him WHY he said:
"I've been really unhappy for the last 8 years."
It was news to her. She thought things were going as well as they always had, and apparently he didn't feel it was his responsibility to notify her when he was unhappy and instead ran around town with a sleeze bucket. They are divorced now and she is much better off.
I'm not naieve, I know that anything can happen in the future, but I truly believe that we take our vows seriously. Marriage is what you put into it.
Well if you gain a ton of weight and do a complete 180 on your looks then we might have to discuss somethings! I mean i want my girl to be around to see her grandkids too!
But you know we'd always work things out. :o)
Love you
http://www.smartmarriages.com/intentionalmarriage.html
expectations are nothing but planned resentments
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