Stopping Traffic

On my way home from a recent trip downtown I found myself heading north on I-75. About a mile and a half from the exit to 696, I began to merge over to the right hand lanes. (Both of the two right lanes exit to 696, the far one goes east, the near one goes west, I was in the near lane.) To my right there was a guy in a pickup truck -- shirtless, muscled, tan, and wearing an actual cowboy hat. Although I couldn't hear the radio, I'd bet my two front teeth he was listening to Travis Tritt.

At first I thought he was motioning to me to see if I still needed to get over into the far right lane, but, upon closer inspection, it turned out that he was actually making horrible lewd gestures at me. Sticking out his tongue, blowing me kisses, and even pointing at his lap! Not wishing to encourage him, I returned my attention to the road and kept both hands on the wheel while looking straight ahead. I was still aware of him in my peripheral vision, but he was going east and I was going west and that would be the end of it as soon as we hit our exits.

All this while the entrance to 696 is rapidly approaching. I notice that the traffic on the exit ramps is slowing down, significantly, so I do the same. Cowboy over to my right failed to notice this, because he was still blowing me kisses, and of course he flew by me and slammed into the rear end of a poor, unsuspecting gentleman in a Saturn -- who looked thoroughly displeased when I drove by, jaw agape, seconds later.

Cowboy did notice at the last second that he was going to hit someone, and had laid on his brakes pretty good, but I estimate that he was still going about 50-55 mph when he hit the Saturn. Totaled the back of that poor man's car. Probably caused a major back up on the exit ramp (since that is a busy area of the highway, at any time of day, let alone late afternoon on a weekday). And all for what? To try to get some play from a strange girl in a separate vehicle while going 70 mph on the interstate. I was reminded of something my mom once said when a similar situation (minus the accident) occurred while we were in the car together: she looked over at the trucker who was gesticulating in her direction and said, "Give it up man, we'll never meet!" Then I accelerated and we left him behind us.