Saturday, May 28, 2005
F*ckin' Up
lonely drifter on the hill...why do i?
one must have a heart of steel...why do i?
it's not how you look but how you feel...why do i?
you must have a heart of steel...why do i?
why do i keep fucking up?
i can see you on the hill...why do i?
all comatose but walking still...why do i?
flowing curves beneath your flowing gown...why do i?
oh, only i can bring myself down...why do i?
why do i keep fucking up?
bowman's pick and dogs that bite...why do i?
oh, dogs that howl through the night...why do i?
oh, broken leashes all over the floor...why do i?
keys left hanging in a swinging door...why do i?
why do i keep fucking up?
one must have a heart of steel...why do i?
it's not how you look but how you feel...why do i?
you must have a heart of steel...why do i?
why do i keep fucking up?
i can see you on the hill...why do i?
all comatose but walking still...why do i?
flowing curves beneath your flowing gown...why do i?
oh, only i can bring myself down...why do i?
why do i keep fucking up?
bowman's pick and dogs that bite...why do i?
oh, dogs that howl through the night...why do i?
oh, broken leashes all over the floor...why do i?
keys left hanging in a swinging door...why do i?
why do i keep fucking up?
Friday, May 27, 2005
Awww Shit!
So today my adorable mother came to me with a look of concern on her face and said, "So Maria, do you think you really ought to swear on your blog?"
To which I replied, "Aw shit mama, it's no big deal!" I was joking of course, but she shook her head in quiet disapproval anyway, probably thinking something like, I've raised a vulgar little girl with a mouth like a sailor. Fuckin' A right! (Another joke mom!) Next comes the tattoo of a half naked lady on my forearm that jiggles and wiggles when I flex.
So today I received an email that had a link to the Michigan Sex Offender registry on it. Although I am opposed to the idea of a sex offender registry I decided to punch in my zip code just to see how many names came up. About 50. Which was less that I thought it would be. Now, you may disagree with me on this one (and please, do let me know, but no swearing!!), but I think that the Michigan Sex Offender Registry -- in a word -- sucks. It's none of my business which of my neighbors was once convicted of a sex crime, and if these people have any hope of attempting to carry on a normal, healthy, rehabilitated life once they are released from prison then it probably doesn't help that there is a website that has their full name, birthday, height, weight, race, and complete ADDRESS on it, with a listing of all of the crimes they've been convicted of. Crimes with names like 1st Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct, which encompass many, many different offenses, which aren't specified in the registry at all. Someone convicted of 1st Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct could be an 18 year old male (a senior in high school) who has consentual sex with his 14 year old girlfriend (a freshman in high school) and gets caught by her father who decides to press charges in spite of the pleas of his daughter; or it could be a 47 year old male who uses force or coercion to have sex with a mentally and physically impaired woman (or man for that matter) of 25. On the scale of sex crimes, I find it hard to believe that those two crimes fall into the same class. Now, I of course would not be happy if I found out my 14 year old freshman-in-high-school daughter was having sex with her 18 year old senior-in-high-school boyfriend, but I wouldn't want to send the kid to jail for it. I'd want to keep my daughter in on Friday night, and talk to her about how men are horny bastards who want sex sex sex all the freakin time! (Not that sex sex sex all the freakin time is bad either, I'm just saying....)
See, that's my biggest problem with the Sex Offender Registry. People will hoot and holler because they, "Have a right to know!" and because they have to, "Protect the children!" Newsflash: the world is a totally fucked up place. You should be worrying about protecting your kids (and yourself!) from everyone you don't know (and even some people you do know) at all times. Saying that the existence of the Sex Offender Registry is legitimate because it helps people protect their children is moronic because people don't use it that way. Anyone who would regularly go into the registry and scan the list for the names of their neighbors or coworkers or just new people they meet is probably a cautious enough parent to be able to protect and educate their child without using it at all. And in spite of its existence there are still people in this world who will let their children have fun, unsupervised sleepovers at a 40 year old adult man's mansion that is clearly designed to enchant children in spite of previous and extremely public accusations of child molestation!
Granted, there are some very bad and sick people who commit sex crimes, serve time for them, and are released into the world only to continue doing exactly as they did before. But can't we manage to use our brains and common sense to avoid falling victim to them? You know, things like park near a light in big, dark parking lots. Don't set down your drink at a bar, walk away from it, and then come pick it up and drink it again. Don't get wasted at a party where you don't really know anyone. Don't go places with strange men you don't know. Don't park your car between two ginormous Econoline vans with no windows in a parking structure. Learn how to administer a swift knee to the balls, and so on. Most of the time just good common sense will keep you out of any kind of trouble that familiarity with the Sex Offender Registry would. And if you end up becoming a victim of rape because you got a flat tire on the highway at 2 AM and a previous sex offender posing as a good samaritan ended up not being so helpful, then what good did it do in the first place? There is nothing that registry did to protect you, you were just tragically a victim of a terrible and unpreventable crime. You can blame nature for creating a person that would do such a thing, or his father who abused him as a child. Try blaming Ford for making shitty cars that break down, or Nextel for having crappy service in that area so you can't call anyone for help, or Michigan driver's ed classes that don't make it mandatory to learn how to change a flat tire before giving you a driver's permit. None of that would be very helpful to a woman in that situation, and neither would the Sex Offender Registry. It is just humiliating and dehumanzing to the people who are actually trying to move on with their lives and put a bad mistake behind them. And I think most of know what it feels like to want to put a bad mistake behind you.
So that's how I feel about that one. Lawyers, sound off.
To which I replied, "Aw shit mama, it's no big deal!" I was joking of course, but she shook her head in quiet disapproval anyway, probably thinking something like, I've raised a vulgar little girl with a mouth like a sailor. Fuckin' A right! (Another joke mom!) Next comes the tattoo of a half naked lady on my forearm that jiggles and wiggles when I flex.
So today I received an email that had a link to the Michigan Sex Offender registry on it. Although I am opposed to the idea of a sex offender registry I decided to punch in my zip code just to see how many names came up. About 50. Which was less that I thought it would be. Now, you may disagree with me on this one (and please, do let me know, but no swearing!!), but I think that the Michigan Sex Offender Registry -- in a word -- sucks. It's none of my business which of my neighbors was once convicted of a sex crime, and if these people have any hope of attempting to carry on a normal, healthy, rehabilitated life once they are released from prison then it probably doesn't help that there is a website that has their full name, birthday, height, weight, race, and complete ADDRESS on it, with a listing of all of the crimes they've been convicted of. Crimes with names like 1st Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct, which encompass many, many different offenses, which aren't specified in the registry at all. Someone convicted of 1st Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct could be an 18 year old male (a senior in high school) who has consentual sex with his 14 year old girlfriend (a freshman in high school) and gets caught by her father who decides to press charges in spite of the pleas of his daughter; or it could be a 47 year old male who uses force or coercion to have sex with a mentally and physically impaired woman (or man for that matter) of 25. On the scale of sex crimes, I find it hard to believe that those two crimes fall into the same class. Now, I of course would not be happy if I found out my 14 year old freshman-in-high-school daughter was having sex with her 18 year old senior-in-high-school boyfriend, but I wouldn't want to send the kid to jail for it. I'd want to keep my daughter in on Friday night, and talk to her about how men are horny bastards who want sex sex sex all the freakin time! (Not that sex sex sex all the freakin time is bad either, I'm just saying....)
See, that's my biggest problem with the Sex Offender Registry. People will hoot and holler because they, "Have a right to know!" and because they have to, "Protect the children!" Newsflash: the world is a totally fucked up place. You should be worrying about protecting your kids (and yourself!) from everyone you don't know (and even some people you do know) at all times. Saying that the existence of the Sex Offender Registry is legitimate because it helps people protect their children is moronic because people don't use it that way. Anyone who would regularly go into the registry and scan the list for the names of their neighbors or coworkers or just new people they meet is probably a cautious enough parent to be able to protect and educate their child without using it at all. And in spite of its existence there are still people in this world who will let their children have fun, unsupervised sleepovers at a 40 year old adult man's mansion that is clearly designed to enchant children in spite of previous and extremely public accusations of child molestation!
Granted, there are some very bad and sick people who commit sex crimes, serve time for them, and are released into the world only to continue doing exactly as they did before. But can't we manage to use our brains and common sense to avoid falling victim to them? You know, things like park near a light in big, dark parking lots. Don't set down your drink at a bar, walk away from it, and then come pick it up and drink it again. Don't get wasted at a party where you don't really know anyone. Don't go places with strange men you don't know. Don't park your car between two ginormous Econoline vans with no windows in a parking structure. Learn how to administer a swift knee to the balls, and so on. Most of the time just good common sense will keep you out of any kind of trouble that familiarity with the Sex Offender Registry would. And if you end up becoming a victim of rape because you got a flat tire on the highway at 2 AM and a previous sex offender posing as a good samaritan ended up not being so helpful, then what good did it do in the first place? There is nothing that registry did to protect you, you were just tragically a victim of a terrible and unpreventable crime. You can blame nature for creating a person that would do such a thing, or his father who abused him as a child. Try blaming Ford for making shitty cars that break down, or Nextel for having crappy service in that area so you can't call anyone for help, or Michigan driver's ed classes that don't make it mandatory to learn how to change a flat tire before giving you a driver's permit. None of that would be very helpful to a woman in that situation, and neither would the Sex Offender Registry. It is just humiliating and dehumanzing to the people who are actually trying to move on with their lives and put a bad mistake behind them. And I think most of know what it feels like to want to put a bad mistake behind you.
So that's how I feel about that one. Lawyers, sound off.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Even better than the real thing
So my weekend went by WAY too fast, like usual. I put in a nice little 9 hour day at the Gap on Saturday, which I have to say was killer on my feet. On Sunday I went to see the movie "Crash" with Matty Matt and I will recommend it to everyone. It was written and directed by the same man who wrote "Million Dollar Baby" and it has very sharp and thought provoking things to say about race relations in the United States, but especially in L.A., where it takes place. You should see it! (That and "Revenge of the Sith," which I am embarassed to say almost made me cry.... I know, I know, I'm a dork!)
I've gotta say that I've been doing a lot of thinking about men lately, and I think that no matter how hard I endeavor to understand them, I will just never really be able to. It's amazing how foreign a person you've known for years can suddenly seem, and how familiar a person you've just met can become in a matter of days. Family members too. Sometimes I feel like my dad and baby bro are so different from the men I've known all my life. It's amazing how men can surprise you....
So it's less than two weeks to Las Vegas, assuming that everything remains kosher with the plan. There may be some issues with the request to take time off of work, so keep your fingers crossed that it all works out OK!
Final thought: is thinking about being in love better than actually being in love? When you just think about it and dream about it and wonder, "Could I love this person?" you never think about all the bad shit that will eventually happen in any relationship. The anticipation makes it so great, but you really never know what the hell is going to happen after you manage to squeeze out those three not-so-little words in the dark with your heart pounding in your ears because you don't know if you'll hear it in return. So it's kind of like a leap off a cliff... or a waterfall.
Man I am rambling. It is so bedtime.
I've gotta say that I've been doing a lot of thinking about men lately, and I think that no matter how hard I endeavor to understand them, I will just never really be able to. It's amazing how foreign a person you've known for years can suddenly seem, and how familiar a person you've just met can become in a matter of days. Family members too. Sometimes I feel like my dad and baby bro are so different from the men I've known all my life. It's amazing how men can surprise you....
So it's less than two weeks to Las Vegas, assuming that everything remains kosher with the plan. There may be some issues with the request to take time off of work, so keep your fingers crossed that it all works out OK!
Final thought: is thinking about being in love better than actually being in love? When you just think about it and dream about it and wonder, "Could I love this person?" you never think about all the bad shit that will eventually happen in any relationship. The anticipation makes it so great, but you really never know what the hell is going to happen after you manage to squeeze out those three not-so-little words in the dark with your heart pounding in your ears because you don't know if you'll hear it in return. So it's kind of like a leap off a cliff... or a waterfall.
Man I am rambling. It is so bedtime.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Whatta man
When you call a guy on a Friday night and he is out at the club with his boys he can do several things. He can:
A) Ignore the call, let his voicemail pick up, and maybe call you back the next day, if he's not too hungover.
B) Answer the call but scream incoherently into the phone because he can't hear you over the booty music in the background. Or he could,
C) Yell, "Hold on!" ask the doorman for a stamp, and actually go outside to say, "What's up shorty!?"
If you get an A man, you need to let him go, cuz that guy will cheat on your ass. If you get a B man you need to be patient, because maybe he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but at least he tries. If you find a C man, you better hold on, cuz that one is a keeper.
A) Ignore the call, let his voicemail pick up, and maybe call you back the next day, if he's not too hungover.
B) Answer the call but scream incoherently into the phone because he can't hear you over the booty music in the background. Or he could,
C) Yell, "Hold on!" ask the doorman for a stamp, and actually go outside to say, "What's up shorty!?"
If you get an A man, you need to let him go, cuz that guy will cheat on your ass. If you get a B man you need to be patient, because maybe he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but at least he tries. If you find a C man, you better hold on, cuz that one is a keeper.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Braggin'
OK, I know that people always brag about how friggin' cute their children/grandchildren/godchildren/nieces & nephews/cousins/fill-in-the-blanks are, but come on. Tell me my niece and nephew aren't pretty freakin' adorable!!
Welcome to my new online life
So, I've decided that I want my own blog, and this is it! I am not sure that anyone will ever read it, but the idea that people might be even remotely interested in reading what I have to say about my life and the happenings in it is pretty intriguing. Hmm, that's probably my narcissism speaking.
So earlier today my road dawg, Nikki, and I were talking on the phone, using Yoda-grammar in honor of the ever badass Star Wars (yea, I am a dork and proud of it!), pondering the pros and cons of bikini shopping online at J.Crew and Victoria's Secret. I told Nik that once upon a time ago I bought a bikini online at Vicki's Secret and it disintegrated in my hands as I opened it up, which probably didn't bode well for how it would fair whilst, let's say, waterskiing. I think she's going to go with J.Crew....
Now see, why would anyone care about that other than me and Nik?? Here's a pic up top to make this less boring.
Yours truly on the left, Nik on the right.
So earlier today my road dawg, Nikki, and I were talking on the phone, using Yoda-grammar in honor of the ever badass Star Wars (yea, I am a dork and proud of it!), pondering the pros and cons of bikini shopping online at J.Crew and Victoria's Secret. I told Nik that once upon a time ago I bought a bikini online at Vicki's Secret and it disintegrated in my hands as I opened it up, which probably didn't bode well for how it would fair whilst, let's say, waterskiing. I think she's going to go with J.Crew....
Now see, why would anyone care about that other than me and Nik?? Here's a pic up top to make this less boring.
Yours truly on the left, Nik on the right.
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