For Better or Worse

Lately I've been thinking a lot about wedding vows. My uncle skipped out on my aunt and their two kids back in January and has basically been acting like a King sized A-hole ever since. Now he's actually filed for divorce and she needs to get a lawyer. She's been a stay at home mom for the last 18 years, we're all a bit worried about what's going to happen to her and the children. None of us understands how he could do something like this, he's never come off like a King sized A-hole in the last 25 years. I guess people are just full of surprises.

A friend of my mom's has also told us that she caught her husband of 35 years in bed with another woman. He moved out and in with his woman and her three kids, wants a divorce. When she asked him what it was that she had done that was so terrible it warranted him giving up their marriage of 35 years he listed the following things as some of the reasons:

• she's overweight
• she doesn't like to do the same things he likes to do, namely hunt & fish
• she doesn't like to watch the same TV shows

She's told both of their sons, who are now both incredibly pissed at their dad. The oldest of their sons has been a Marine for the last decade and said he will never talk to his father again because of this; he ended up getting divorced a few years ago because his then wife was cheating on him - after only a few years of marriage, and (I'm pretty sure) while he was off fighting for our country somewhere.

Shaun and I have been talking about how we are at a point in our relationship again where we both feel like we could get married someday. We've managed to work our way through a really hard conflict and still come out loving each other like crazy on the other end, I think that's a good sign. After everything that we've gone through, and the thinking I've been doing about my aunt and our family friend, I've been wondering how they were smart enough to include the, "for better or worse," part in the traditional marriage vows? Years of experience in observing marriages I guess. I think that there are way too many young people these days that get married and do not understand the type of commitment that marriage is supposed to be. I never want to give up on the person that I make those promises to, that's why you have to be careful who you choose to dedicate your life to. For better or worse is no small promise.

How Cute Are We?

Kodak Moment!

So this weekend I am in Chicago for Shaun's graduation from Navy boot camp. The collage above shows some pictures from today, including the incredible "Ass Cake" that Kathy T made for him. Complete with daisy insignias on the back pockets, it's HILARIOUS and Shaun loved it. We plan to eat it tomorrow.

We still have one more day to spend with him and it's been an emotional experience, to say the least. He's lost a LOT of weight (as all of you can see from the pictures), and I know he's tired, but he looks fantastic.

Even though I saw him today and get to see him again tomorrow, I miss him SO much! And he can't come home until February because he still has to go to Dallas for his A school. At least he will be able to use the phone and stuff once he gets to Dallas, but it's still hard not to be able to spend time with him and just hang out!

I'll write more later, for now I am tired. MW signing off.

I Love My Sailor

High Infidelity

Adrian Lyne is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors. I've been slowly (very slowly, grad school is crazy) renting his films from Netflix and it's interesting to watch them all so close together. He seems to be drawn to the complex emotions that exist between men and women when sex and love get all mixed up with each other. (It helps that his movies are particularly well cast.) He's directed a lot of popular films (including Flashdance) and I've always loved Indecent Proposal. Two weekends ago I watched 9 1/2 Weeks and tonight I watched Unfaithful.

I'd already seen Unfaithful. I rented it shortly after it came out on video -- I wanted to see if Diane Lane deserved her Oscar nom. Her performance is wonderful, but overall I remember being unimpressed. In fact, I thought it was downright stupid. (I should warn you now, this will contain spoilers. If you haven't seen Unfaithful and want to, stop reading immediately or it will be utterly ruined. Consider yourself warned.) After a second viewing several years later, I find myself of a much different mind.

If you've seen the movie, I suggest skipping to the next paragraph. If you haven't, and you aren't bored with this post already, then read on. The basic premise is that a beautiful, intelligent, bored suburban wife and mother (Lane) initiates a torrid affair with a young, gorgeous, French book dealer living in SoHo (Olivier Martinez - yum!). The husband is played brilliantly by Richard Gere. As her affair spirals further and further out of control, the husband's growing suspicions find him hiring a private detective to follow his wife. Once he has undeniable photographic proof he heads to the lover's apartment and accidentally ends up killing him when he discovers that his wife has given her young lover a gift that he had given to her years before -- a snow globe. He dumps the body in a massive garbage dump. Days pass, he says nothing. She eventually finds the photos from the private detective in his coat pocket a week later, after the police have come to see if she knows where her young lover is, and when she finds the snow globe back in its place on the window sill, she not only knows that her husband knows about the affair, but also that her husband has murdered her lover. The movie ends with husband and wife sitting in their car in front of a police station, contemplating whether to run away to Mexico with their nine year old son or turn themselves in. The viewer is left to guess. I personally think they turn themselves in.

The first time around I disliked the movie because I hated Diane Lane's character. I thought her selfish and foolish and could not for the life of me figure out why she would risk destroying what is depicted as a wonderful marriage -- to a handsome man like Richard Gere at that! I felt like it was her fault that her husband ended up cracking open the young lover's skull with the snow globe, and I wanted her to go to jail. I was mad at the way the movie ended, I thought it let her get away with murder. Upon a second viewing, I still think that she is selfish and foolish, but I feel sorry for her. I still don't know why she does what she does, and maybe I never will (hopefully not!), but she just seems so desperate to feel excited. Excited in a way her husband can't make her feel. I wonder if that is why a lot of married people cheat? Does the sex and the intimacy lose its excitement so much that they look for it elsewhere? No doubt that is the reason for some people. Who knows about the others. Fortunately most of them just end up getting divorced, not committing murder. This is the kind of movie that makes me afraid of marriage. Either way, it's a movie worth renting. I'll be watching it again before I send it back to Netflix!