While not the competitive person I used to be, I still don’t like 2nd place. Third I can deal with; “Top Three” sounds good, like an exclusive club you belong to, but 2nd place is just plain not good enough to be 1st.
In life, actions will often speak louder than words. Tonight, I got stood up for hundreds of strangers. I got stood up so Shaun could go to a Texas Hold ‘Em tournament at the Greektown Casino. Tonight I came in second place to poker. The volume of his actions has reached a deafening roar. Granted, he did only pay $5 to enter the drawing to win a seat in the tournament, but I think we all know that the likelihood of him winning the grand prize out of hundreds of entrants was pretty slim. I, however, was at least offered a consolation prize called, “Well We Can Hang Out After,” but I turned it down.
After everything that’s happened, after talking about trying to work on things, after him talking about being more responsible – wanting me to feel like I can depend on him to make the right choice when it all comes down to it – I get stood up for a card game.
And maybe all we were gonna do was sit on the couch and watch some funny TV and play with the cats; maybe we just would have laughed and enjoyed each other’s company and taken another small step toward figuring out this terrible mess we got ourselves into, but God dammit that sounds a lot better to me than a room full of strangers trying to take my money.
So he can get mad at me all he wants, and he can say that I don’t support him, but I will not apologize for not supporting a gambling habit. I've seen it ruin people, good people, people you would never have thought would flush away their kids' college savings, and then ante up and head back for more.
For now I will just sit here, in the house I grew up in, listening to the John Mayer Trio on Dad's gigantic headphones, and I will try to stop the tears once again in this short span of days.
Gravity ... is working against me.... Just keep me where the light is....
5 comments:
This much I know is true: Actions speak louder than words.
You'll see the light again. And, when you do, you better have your shades ready because it'll be brighter than any light you've seen yet. Hang in there, and never go down with a sinking ship.
-Bec
All Truth passes through four stages. First it is ignored; Second it is ridiculed; Third it is violently opposed; and finally it is accepted as being self-evident. Every situation is unique. One truth does not apply to all scenarios. Eventually, we all find the truth that is unique to our circumstance. It is what we learn from accepting that truth that helps us grow and shapes who we are.
been there down that. Dosen't help the hurt....but people don't change that much. Maria you are an awsome woman with awsome gifts. Move on. Take it from the old broad here. You will be better off. In Charge, Karen
PS It should be been there done that. sorry Karen
You've always been in the light, its just that sometimes shadows come into our lives and we think the sun has been blocked out when really all we need to do is turn around.
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