Dear America

Dear America,

I'm breaking up with you.

This is the moment where many breakuppers say to the breakupees, "It's not you, it's me." I could say that. But I won't. Because that's a lie. It's TOTALLY you.

As far as citizens go I am a catch, and -- to be frank -- you don't deserve me. You are a lying, corrupt, selfish, greedy, ignorant, racist, misogynist, homophobic asshole, who is devoid of compassion, and to top it off you absolutely *suck* (suck!!) at managing your money (which is actually MY money because I pay taxes, jackass!). I mean, can you even do basic math? I don't want to be a bitch, but it's really not that hard. Also, you kind of have an anger/warfare management problem. You treat me and the majority of your citizenry like garbage, and it's clear by now that, regardless of how much I want you to change, you're really not interested in changing any time soon. So after careful observation for the past 32 years I've decided it's high time I cut my losses. I just need a fresh start.

Maybe once you've had some time to think and you've gotten drunk a couple of times and listened to Joni Mitchell's "Blue" and cried yourself to sleep after eating an entire chocolate cake in one sitting, you'll start to realize what a great thing we had going. As I mentioned previously, I AM A CATCH. To pour salt in an open wound, I will now illustrate more fully all the qualities I have that make me such an awesome citizen:

1. I'm smart. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I am really, really smart. I ask questions, I seek truth, I demand authority, I have a healthy sense of skepticism, I am a critical thinker. I am EXACTLY the type of responsible citizen that the Founding Fathers would have wanted in their participatory democracy. Truly, your Founding Fathers are going to be really disappointed in you when they realize what a dick you've been to me.
2. I am well-educated. (And for the record, being smart is NOT the same thing as being well-educated.) I have always taken school seriously. ALWAYS. Go ask my Kindergarten teacher. I graduated from high school with a 4.0 and tons of AP credit. I have a master's degree. I learned a second language. I read the news, and history books, and economics books, and science books, and poetry, and literature. I consider it my responsibility as an adult and a member of society to keep myself in the know and constantly challenge myself to learn new things. Because there is always more to learn. Which perhaps you might understand if your obnoxious know-it-all ego wasn't so busy eclipsing intelligent discourse in this country.
3. I vote. I have voted in every presidential election and midterm election since I turned 18 and became eligible. I've voted in primary elections. Big elections, small elections. You name it. I vote! Because not only is it my right, it is my responsibility! And I vote knowledgeably! I research ballot initiatives, candidates up for school board, the regents at the University of Michigan. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME THAT TAKES? I spend so much time learning about all the shit we vote on that other people call me to ask my informed opinion about their voting options, because THEY actually appreciate the effort it takes. Unlike you.
4. I am generous. Re-read items 1-3 and then consider that I put those talents to use not only as a taxpayer that bailed out a ridiculously corrupt private financial sector with my hard-earned money (I'm still waiting for my Thank You note, by the way), but also to help actual individual Americans who are in actual desperate need every single day. That is what I do at both of my jobs (because I have TWO). And I do it by choice.
5. I am responsible. Apart from my gargantuan student loan debt (which is kind of your fault -- I mean, if you actually valued education you'd get serious about how out-of-control the cost of college is in this country, but I digress), I have NO debt. I don't have a bunch of maxed out credit cards, I didn't buy more house than I could afford, I don't have children I can't provide for. I handle my business. Take notice.
6. I am compassionate. I realize that not everyone is like me, and more importantly, I don't want everyone to be like me! When I encounter a person whose life is vastly different from mine I try to have compassion for the struggles they deal with -- because while they may not be the same as my own struggles, we all have struggles. Accepting, appreciating, and leveraging the diversity of background, experience, and opinion of all Americans is actually what could make this country truly great.
7. I am hard-working. I've worked hard in school and at every job I've ever had my whole entire life. I do something that matters to my community and is intellectually and emotionally fulfilling. I work to be a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend, and a good girlfriend, on top of being a good student and a good employee. I bust my ass for you, and you can't even balance the goddamn budget!

What saddens me most is that you have so much potential. You are a nation that is chock full of people who are so much kinder, smarter, and more compassionate than your elected politicians and unregulated media lead people to believe. We deserve better.

We deserve a nation that is mindful of the future, and takes seriously our responsibility for protecting the natural environment for future generations, rather than a nation that denies real science and intentionally spreads misinformation about the crisis of climate change.

We deserve a nation that uses its unprecedented resources to compassionately raise millions of our neighbors out of poverty, rather than a nation that demands that they 'pull themselves up by the bootstraps' and punishes and belittles them for being poor.

We deserve a nation that prioritizes rational discourse, negotiation, and peace, and uses war and violence as an absolute last resort, rather than a nation engaged in a perpetual cycle of expensive and violent conflict.

We deserve a nation that understands that it has a vested interest in the physical health of its people, rather than a nation that protects the rights of insurance and pharmaceutical companies above all else.

We deserve a nation that values education and ensures that children everywhere have access to an equitable educational experience and affordable (or FREE!) higher education, rather than a nation that leaves the impoverished to crumbling public school systems and forces young people to mortgage their futures in order to get a college degree.

We deserve a nation that strives for diversity, promotes acceptance, and encourages tolerance, rather than a nation that remains quietly racist and misogynistic, and is not-so-quietly still very homophobic.

We deserve better.

I deserve better.

I think if you really search your heart you'll realize this is what's best for everyone. Oh wait, I forgot. You don't actually have a heart. I guess you and Dick Cheney are stuck in that boat together.

Maybe after some time has passed we'll be able to be friends. Maybe.

Good luck.

Love,

Maria