Social Media Frenzy

When I took my iPhone with me to the bathroom at work so that I could check Facebook while taking a pee, it occurred to me that I might have a problem. While sitting there answering nature's call I was simultaneously scrolling through my news feed, because you know, I'M A MULTITASKER, and I found an interesting news article shared by a friend. I read it - OK fine, I skimmed it - and then went back to the link on my friend's page and typed an insightful and funny comment. (Because ALL of my comments are insightful and funny... and witty and intelligent and accurate. Duh.) I finished up, washed my hands, and returned to my desk. Then I logged into Facebook on my computer to see if anyone had responded to my brilliant comment, which of course no one had (IT'S BEEN AT LEAST TWO MINUTES ALREADY, I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE'S LIKED MY COMMENT YET!), and so I went back to work.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media.

These are some things I love about it:

• it's fun!
• it's a way to keep in touch with friends
• it's an information source
• it's fun!

These are some things I hate about it:

• it's a mega-distracting time suck
• there are too many sites/platforms/tools
• it's a stupidity amplifier and an ego enabler
• it's in ink

But we'll start with the fun part. Because social media is fun! For example, this year I watched the Grammy Awards and Tweeted throughout the show. Some of my friends on Twitter did the same thing. It kind of felt like we got to watch it together, despite the fact that I was at my parents' house, sitting on their couch in my sweatpants, listening to my mom snore next to me (sorry Mom), and shoveling potato chips into my pie hole. It's way more fun to geek out over awards shows with other people who also geek out over awards shows than it is to watch them alone with a snoring mom and farting dog on either side of you.

Just saying.

I met my friend Leah in high school. We were not in the same grade, we went to different colleges, and then she married a guy whose Coast Guard career has moved her all around the country, so we don't hang out much. In person. But we have fun social media exchanges like this one from Grammy night all the time:

 

It might sound silly, but interactions like this Twitter conversation, exchanges on Facebook, and text messages help us to stay friends in a way that is meaningful to me. (And I think also to Leah.) Through her Facebook page I get to see pictures of her beautiful family (srsly, her kids are totes adorbs), hear about her adventures in parenting, talk about Scandal and Downton Abbey, and congratulate her on going back to school. A couple of years ago I got to answer a very special Facebook request of hers, that ended up with my dad donning his Santa costume so that we could surprise her family at her mother's home with a visit from old Saint Nick, on what ended up being the last Christmas before her mother passed away.

In addition to my valuable communication with Leah, I've gotten to congratulate and celebrate with friends across the country and all over the world on birthdays, marriages, new babies, graduations, new jobs, new houses, new cars, new pets, conquered illnesses, completed deployments, court cases won, weight lost, and every other manner of human triumph you could possibly imagine. Any way you look at it, that is awesome.

Social media is also a powerful information resource, and, as a librarian, that's kind of a big deal to me. If a trusted friend shares a news story on their Facebook page, you're probably more apt to read it too. If you see that someone whose musical taste you dig is listening to a new artist on Spotify, you're probably more apt to listen to it too. If you see that your Foursquare friends have a lot of positive things to say about a new restaurant in town, and enticing photos of items on the menu, you're probably more apt to go eat there too.

This is all cool, right? For the most part, I think so. But, as with all things, there are two sides. What if the information that is shared by a friend is bogus? This is how rumors spread. This is how misinformation spreads. This is how outright lies spread. By and large people are not critical enough of the information they consume. I am not exempt from this, and I consider myself to have above average information literacy and critical thinking skills. But with social media we can interact. We can counteract. We can correct! See how my friend, Firend, corrected me a couple weeks ago:

I'm usually pretty good at spotting bogus information on the web, and even I missed this one. But Firend didn't. I haven't seen Firend in person since 1998, but he had my back on that one.

So I think I've made my case for why social media can be great, but lately I've been struggling with all the ways it negatively affects me. And as I've spent some time thinking about it, there are a lot more negatives than I like to admit.

First of all, I'd like to remind you that I started this post with a story about Facebooking on my phone while taking a pee. I mean, that is ridiculous (not to mention unsanitary) (but I did wash my hands, I promise) and I will be the first person to admit it. There are nights I'll spend hours siting on my couch with my laptop trolling around on Pinterest, only to close my computer, climb into bed, and open up Pinterest on my iPhone.

I have used social media tools, mostly Facebook and Twitter, in all of these circumstances:

• on the toilet
• in the shower (I really wish this was a joke but it is absolutely not)
• while driving my car (aaaaggggghh.... SO BAD)
• at work (in meetings! SO. BAD!)
• in class
• at weddings
• at funerals
• on dates
• while having one-on-one, in-person, important conversations with friends, family members, and coworkers

I'm sure there are more, but this small list has already made me feel like a giant, capital-A, Asshole, so I'm going to stop here. I'm sure you get the point. There are days when I don't update Facebook (not many, but it happens), but I cannot remember the last time I went a whole day without even checking it.

What would I be doing with all this time if I wasn't glued to the Internet? Reading more books! Being more productive at work! Playing with my trouble-making kitty cats! Having more sex! Getting more sleep! Getting more exercise! Cooking more food at home! And giving my tired brain a much needed rest from the constant stimuli of the digital age.

And honestly, I'm overwhelmed by all the options for interaction. Facebook. Twitter. Pinterest. Instagram. Google+. Foursquare. LinkedIn. Spotify. GoodReads. Blogger. And now MySpace is back? COME ON. How many digital versions of myself am I supposed to be able to maintain? I can barely maintain the actual flesh and blood version! This shit is exhausting. I have three jobs! I'm taking three classes at my local community college! I'm trying to read every single Pulitzer prize-winning piece of fiction! I tell people all the time that I would kill to have free time, but the truth is that I do have free time, I just fill it up with Facebook.

And for all the quality interactions I have via social media, there are plenty of completely worthless ones. Status updates about the mundane details of people's boring lives, eleventy billion shitty pictures from people's phone cameras, location check-ins at every freaking crap ass store visited on a day full of errands. Stupid political propaganda (from BOTH sides), massively offensive/racist/homophobic/sexist/ignorant opinions, and a veritable avalanche of poor spelling and worse grammar. Don't even get me started on all the stupid game requests. Farmville! CityTown!! Bejeweled Super Gem Attack IV!!!

I observe this activity and think, You think people care about this stupid boring shit? I'm giving up my golden free time for this? Again, I don't exempt myself from any of this behavior. I always think my Tweets are supremely witty, and my photos visually intriguing, and my musical tastes superior, and my book reviews authoritative, but really they aren't. I'm human and therefore susceptible to vanity and stupidity. And really, probably almost no one cares. If I disappeared from social media tomorrow no one would text me like, OMG! WTF? WHERE DID U GO? I TOTES MISS UR UNIQUE AND INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING YET FUNNY STATUS UPDATES!

But I might get a phone call from my friends Ann and Megan, asking for a book recommendation. Or I might hear from Sara if she wants to know if I've tried the new restaurant around the corner. Or I might get an email from Rebeca with pictures from her house, post-renovation. Without social media all the quality interactions could still exist if my friends and I made more effort, but without social media practically all of the crappy interactions would just disappear. So really, how much value is it adding?

And I've finally arrived at my last point. (If you're still reading this, thanks for hanging in.) Social media is online, on the Internet, on the World Wide Web, which is written in ink. It is permanent. If you say or do something stupid online, even if it was unintentional or seemed innocent at the time, it will be online forever. All it takes is one little screen shot and your Tweet/Facebook status/Instagram pic is as permanent as a tattoo. It is really, really, really hard to get things off the Internet. (Just ask Beyonce.) This means that if you do something that could jeopardize your job, your marriage, your friendships, your ability to attend school, or WHATEVER, it could exist online forever.

The other day I mentioned to someone that I was glad Facebook didn't exist when I was a teenager, because teenagers can be obnoxious and stupid and hurtful (yet again, teenaged Maria was not exempt from those behaviors), and now they can do obnoxious and stupid and hurtful things to each other online. Imagine creating a Facebook page at age 15, and maybe you're kind of a bully, and you keep that page all through high school and college, and there's some stuff on there that, as an adult, now seems kind of dickish. Over the years you've grown attached to this digital representation of your personality, all the pictures! All the memories! And maybe you've outgrown the propensity to bully others, but way back on your profile it's there. And when you get a job and start to become Facebook friends with your coworkers, with your boss, with your company's CEO, they'll be able to find all of that dickish teenager stuff in your profile. And even though you've outgrown it, it's right there on the Internet for everyone to see. And is that really the kind of impression you want to make?

Think about that one person you know that does not have a Facebook account. Have you ever seen an embarrassing or inappropriate photo of them? Have they every overshared some information about a child's bathroom activities? Do you know every single store they went to last Sunday when they were running errands? Isn't it OK and maybe kind of awesome not knowing all that stuff about them?

Just saying.

So. After all that. I don't know what I'm going to do. For me, the benefits still outweigh the drawbacks - although by a much closer margin than I originally thought. And if I'm being honest, I could control ALL of the drawbacks by exercising more discipline in my own behavior - both in where and when and how frequently I engage in social media, and with whom I choose to engage.

Too bad I am basically the least disciplined person, ever.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to publish this on Blogger and share it on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.